𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 (𝗏𝗂𝗅𝗅𝖺𝗂𝗇! 𝗍𝗈𝖽𝗈𝖽𝖾𝗄𝗎)

chapter nineteen

todoroki

How the hell did I end up like this?

Slowly, I opened my eyes, squinting at the sudden brightness coming from a single light in the ceiling. There were four walls, all painted dark grey, surrounding me, and the room was square, only about seven feet each direction with no windows.

I moved my hand to cover my eyes and an ache ran across my back. Looking down, I saw that I was laying on a wooden cot, a flat pillow underneath my head and a thin, itchy blanket thrown across my feet. A throbbing pain rooted itself in my side as I sat up and my hands moved to the location of the pain. I lifted up my blue shirt to see my wound bandaged properly; I didn't understand how it had been bandaged since I certainly didn't remembered wrapping it—I also didn't remember having a blue shirt. When I looked down at myself, I noticed that my jeans were different too (now missing the rip and blood from the cut in my thigh), while my shoes were completely gone. Wherever I was, someone had taken me in and given me new clothes.

Memories from the previous night rushed back to me and I cringed inwardly. Toga had cut me, I had passed out, and now . . . now I didn't know where I was. I had failed to save Izuku and I was in a random room, probably having been taken by someone who didn't want me to stay at U.A.

"Fantastic," I mumbled to myself, heavy with sarcasm. I groaned and put my head in my hands, letting my worries swallow me whole.

Time passed without my knowledge. There was no clock and I didn't have my phone—whoever had put me in this room must have had it. Without any distractions, my thoughts rambled on, going in different directions but staying in the same general area: The fight from last night and Izuku.

With every anxious notion I delved deeper into my stress, which grew larger and larger with every passing moment until a knock on the door jerked me out of my head. A chill ran down my back as the grey door started opening; whoever had kidnapped me was here to see me.

The green-haired head of the star of my worries popped into the room, his body following soon after when he stepped in. He closed the door behind him quietly, and I jumped up to hug him. My injuries had other plans, though: A harsh pain roared through my hurt leg and stomach, making me stumble.

Izuku caught me, grabbing my arms to keep me from falling. As I steadied myself, I looked up to see his face, his green eyes shining and his lips upturned in a sad smile. I put my arms around him, hugging him tightly, and, after a moment's hesitation, he returned the movement, burying his face into my chest just like he had the night before. We stayed like that for a minute before he started fidgeting with his hands and let go.

"Sit down, Shoto," Izuku said, his tone soft enough to make me forget my worries immediately. I did as he said and he sat next to me, grabbing my hand and sliding his fingers through mine. The simple touch was nice, but his eyes wouldn't meet my gaze and he was trembling, bouncing his leg on the floor anxiously. I squeezed his hand, mostly to comfort him but also because of the pain throbbing through my side.

"I bandaged your wounds." Izuku was quiet, his voice barely louder than a whisper even though we were completely alone. "I also, uh, changed you out of the clothes you were wearing last night. They were covered in blood." He spoke quickly, a nervous laugh hiding behind his words.

"Thanks," I mumbled, matching his hushed tone.

"Do your cuts still hurt? They looked really bad."

"A little bit, yeah. Toga really knows how to use a knife."

My words were an attempt at light humour, but Izuku just gulped and continued to stare at the ground. He let go of my hand, instead putting his on the nape of his neck. I wanted to reach for him again but stopped myself; something was obviously going on with him.

"Where are we?" The question had only just popped into my head, yet my urgency to know was obvious in my voice.

"We were, uh, leaving the school, and we saw you, so we picked you up," Izuku began, trailing off.

"We?"

He didn't answer, instead continuing to stare at the ground as his foot bounced rapidly.

"Where are we, Izuku?"

". . . The League of Villains' hideout."

I cursed under my breath. "How—"

"We took you with us." He was whispering now, forcing out the words like he didn't want to say them.

My breath came out shakily as the last shreds of hope I had faded away. Uraraka and Bakugou's accusation, Izuku's words, and everything that had happened last night pointed to one thing, and now, there was no denying it.

The pain from my wounds subsided as a hollow, numb feeling spread through my chest.  "You," I started in a hushed tone, "you're a villain, aren't you?"

Izuku's bouncing leg stopped abruptly and he looked up at me, meeting my eyes. "Yeah. I-I'm a pretty good actor, aren't I?"

His confirmation hit me hard even though I had seen it coming. I didn't want to believe it—there was no way it was true—but he had said it himself.

"You're joking," I said, taking one last, painstakingly hopeful guess. "You're joking, right?"

Izuku looked away again and answered shakily. "I'm sorry, Shoto."

I wanted him to say it was a lie, just a silly little joke, but silence overcame us both, and I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream, I wanted to throw things, I wanted to just be upset. Instead, I bit my tongue and waited. I waited for him to say something, anything, all the while dreading his next words. He wasn't lying, and finally realizing that made me feel like ripping my hair out and yelling.

Because of those conflicting thoughts, I was both sad and relieved when he stood up and walked out of the door, leaving the plain room without another word. 

The stillness of everything settled over me as the door shut with a chink. I laid back against the cot and closed my eyes, a sudden desire to do nothing but sleep coming over me. For what felt like hours, I simply laid there, the light in the ceiling bright even through my eyelids. My rest was sleepless, not only from the blinding light and uncomfortable bed, but also from the thoughts racing through my head.

Izuku.

He was a villain, I was a hero-in-training, and I cared about him. I felt numb just thinking about it. I desperately wanted to stay with him, but I couldn't, no matter what I told myself, and that hurt. It hurt so much I couldn't even cry—I had just gotten him back barely a week ago, and now he was being ripped away from me because he joined the stupid League—so I just laid there, neither sleeping nor crying. I wanted to talk to Izuku, to convince him to come back to me and the heroes, but, at the same time, I didn't want to see him.

I didnt know how to feel, how to think or react or behave. I don't know what to do.