Peace when you are done

The Request

Author's note: Here comes the SnowBaz! I've drafted the remaining chapters. The whole story should be complete by the end of this weekend. There are 3 chapters planned, including this one, and then epilogues from 2 different character POVs. Thanks for reading!!!

Baz POV

I knock on the door to the guest room that Vera showed Simon to earlier. Vera gave me a pitying look when I had asked where he was.

"You'll need some tea to go with those scones, Mr. Pitch," Vera had said.

Then she helped me set up a beautiful full tea service: bone china, lavender tea, clotted cream, fresh jam. I picked a china pattern with stars on the bottoms of the cups. Vera knew about Simon and I before any of my family. She walked in on us at the house in Hampshire. What I wouldn't give to have that moment back again, even interrupted.

"Yeah?" I hear Simon call. He probably thinks I'm Penny.

I enter through the door as smoothly as I can considering I have an entire cart of tea and an enormous bouquet.

"Hello," I say more tentatively than I mean to.

"Hey," Simon replies. Exactly as tentatively as he means it.

I roll the tea over to him. He doesn't say anything about the flowers. He's not going to say anything. I know I need to start talking before I lose all my resolve to say what I rehearsed.

"Simon, I keep trying to make you talk to me. I shouldn't do that. I shouldn't try to make you do anything."

Simon doesn't look up.

"And the thing you keep trying to tell me, I have refused to listen to. I shouldn't do that either. I'm sorry."

Simon sniffles.

"I do want to talk to you. Even if you aren't able to talk to me right now. Please hear me out, and then after that, if you tell me that you don't want me and that you want me to go, I'll leave. I'll listen."

I was barely able to say that part. I don't know how I'll actually do that part if he ends things.

"Simon, you shouldn't try to decide whether you are right for me. That's my choice. I think you're right for me. I want to be with you."

Simon has pushed his head into his heads. I'm still standing there by the bed. I would be next to him, but I'm on the opposite side of him from the tea cart, which now feels ridiculous. I want to go to him, but I don't think I can.

I tell him. I tell him everything.

Simon doesn't speak the entire time. I don't know if anything I've said registered with him at all. I feel myself on the verge of breaking down again. I will myself to walk towards the door. Fiona is still here. She's got her car, I'm sure. She can give me a ride back to London. I'll stay at her flat.

"Baz,"

I pause, taking my hand off the door. I look over at Simon. He's looking at me. He's holding one of the misshapen scones I baked him.

"Baz, stay."