The Journey of a Broken Heart

Chapter 20: LYNN

(Hey everyone i decided to do a double update today so do read the second part :))

Laura ran from the room quickly while I kept laughing. That definitely was not a good first kiss, I thought to myself as I sat on my wheelchair and went to find her. Even though she isn't THE most Awesome sister of all times it is still really nice spending time with her. Spending whatever time you have left with her my stupid subconscious reminded me. Honestly she doesn't know when to stop.

I am pretty sure that she must be in her room so I wheeled myself in the direction but voices of someone crying stopped me in my tracks. Who is crying? I asked to myself as I peeped inside the kitchen from where the voice was coming. Mom? Why is she crying? I thought to myself as I saw my mother crying in my dad's shoulder. I know better than to just barge inside so I decided to impolitely eavesdrop.

"April, it is okay. She'll be okay," Oh. So they are talking about me.

"But-but I can't let her go," My mom hiccoughed.

"This might be her last trip, Austin, I just can't do this anymore," my mom broke down.

"I can't believe that I am losing a daughter-" she was saying something else as well but I couldn't bring myself to listen more. The only words ringing in my ears were that I won't be her daughter anymore. I thought that she would always be my mom even if I am no more here.

I couldn't stop myself now. I couldn't remain acting strong so I broke down in front of my bed as soon as I entered my room.

Why is it me? I asked myself or I blamed myself I really don't know. I don't have any friends other than Laura. I did not attend any cancer support group because I am just twelve and I really don't want to add other people's horrors and worries to my own. Call me selfish or self centered, I.Don't.Care.

I don't even know how much time passed but I kept sobbing and sobbing. All the walls, all the barriers that I had created between myself and crying and being week just broke with one sentence, with one thought that I won't be my parent's daughter any more. If I die my usually bratty subconscious tried to console me but this made me cry even harder.

I never understood why people cry, I always thought that crying never solves anything but just blurs your thoughts but now I understand, crying is like that friend that occasionally comes and you pour out your heart and mind into her and when she leaves you feel empty, nut in a good way you feel nicer and lighter without all of the burdens that you had earlier.

I don't know how much time has passed but I am still sobbing when I heard my bedroom door open and Laura hurried to my side and kneeled down beside me so that we are face to face.

"Hey, what happen?" she asked me soothingly rubbing her hand on my back. I just shook my head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked me but I shook my head again in response.

"It is okay get yourself together," she said encouragingly

"I can't, Laura it takes time times as much strength to put yourself back together as it did to fall apart."

"It is okay Lynn," she said her voice wavering.

Yeah it is okay to you because you don't have any problem, or you don't know how it feels to be in my place. My occasionally sweet subconscious is back to the bratty one.

"Fine Lynn, suite yourself," Laura said with tears in her eyes. Oh. So I did not just think it. Shit. I tried to stop her but she stomped out of the room closing the door a little too closely behind.