Girls

Chapter 20

The way the sun kisses her skin makes everything seem to slow down.

 I feel weightless. 

She's talking and laughing yet I don't hear a thing. I wish I had a camera right now, so I could capture the look of happiness on her face. She isn't perfect, but her movements...the way she talks...her imperfectness makes her look so perfect.

She shifts her attention onto me, those swirling eyes pulling me in. Her mouth curls up into the kind of smile that make you feel hot inside, despite the scorching weather. Her voice is loud and obnoxious, but welcoming, always welcoming. She's saying something though, but what? I should listen. I should.....

"Nicki, wake the fuck UP!!"  Something smacks me in the throat. Reality, maybe? Oh no, a fucking orange. Wait-- WhAt ThE hElL?!

"Aw shit, hella aimed too high." Shannon blows out air and slumps down in the grass across from me. She scratches her head, peers up at me and jolts in surprise. I'm glaring at her so hard I think there are waves of radiation shooting from my pupils.

"You threw an orange," I make my eye twitch. "AT MY THROAT??"

"Well stop spacing out when I'm talking to you then!!" She protests. I try drinking water but my throat is throbbing too much so I cough it back up. No matter how many times I try to swallow it, my throat won't comply.

"What were you thinking about anyways?" Tyler bites into his uncomfortably healthy sandwich. It looks like a bunch of veggies on two really sad excuses for wheat bread.

I rub my throat, trying to remember. Elizabeth's glowing smile fades back into my head, causing me to inhale sharply and throw myself into a coughing fit.

Oh right. I was remembering yesterday.

I had made the decision to hang out with her at the park after school, and the entire time I was staring at her in admiration. We didn't do anything except talk and sit on the swings, but I recall how the warmth of the day didn't seem to bother me that much when I was with her. I was aware of the distance between us the entire time, man. I might've daydreamed about pulling her swing to me and making a move, but y'all have no damn proof of that.

Shannon spews her milk out onto the small patch of grass in the middle of the three of us. "Bruh, are you telling me you kissed her?!"

"No! We just hung out! But like... you guys know how I feel about Sabrina. The problem is I've always had these feelings toward Elizabeth, too..."

"Maybe you needa back off from Elizabeth, dude. You know she's seeing that one guy..." Tyler says and Shannon nods in agreement.

I can feel my eyes widen. "She's talking to someone?"

"Yeah," Tyler shrugs like it's no big deal. "His name is Steven or something, I can't remember."

"Does he go here?"

"Mhm, yeah he's on the football team."

If I was a chicken, my feathers would be fluffed. I know they shouldn't be, but my metaphorical feathers are a little fluffed right about now.

"Not worth it, man," Shannon sips the rest of her milk and Tyler finishes the rest of his sandwich and I'm just sitting here like a lump of unhappy flesh.

And then familiar laughter catches my attention.

Sabrina is standing with a small group of girls, her profile in my view. Not entirely fond of her friends, but Sabrina herself is something else. Like someone you can't help but take a small amount of notice in. No, she doesn't conjure the same feely feels that I seem to always get around Elizabeth, but there is obviously something about her that I like. And I'm not just talking about the way her lips feel on mine when we kiss, or the smoothness her palm feels like against mine. I'm not even talking about the never ending blackness of her eyes. 

What I mean is her personality, like the way she laughs like everything is stupid and how she blames all of her injuries on me. Those stupid little things make me like her a lot, and I think if I were with Elizabeth, I'd find stupid little things that she does likeable just as well. I think that goes for anyone who has a crush, though. Little stuff your crush does is absolutely adorable, but if it were anyone else doing it, it'd be disgustingly annoying and irritating.

"Why don't you go say hi to her?" Tyler meets my eyes and smirks. I'd like to but for some reason I think her friends like me as much as I like them. Not that I care much for their feelings, but I do care about Sabrina and I'm not about to make it uncomfortable when she seems to be having such a good time.

"Oh lord look at that jawline MMMFFF," Shannon croons suddenly. Tyler and I follow her starstruck gaze, following it all the way to the newly platnium blonde Jacob. Joseph is very enthusiastically talking about God knows what next to him, while Jacob is chewing sort of depressed-like on his burger.

"He looks bummed, dude." I say to Shannon. And it's true. Even though his bright-ass white blonde hair is screaming happy, his pale face says otherwise. "When's the last time you've talked to him anyways?"

Shannon licks her lips. "Bruh I don't even know. I messaged him, like, last week and he hasn't responded since."

"Maybe it's home stuff?" Tyler tries. "Or maybe his burger tastes really bad. Maybe there's nothing wrong at all."

I snort. Tyler has a funny way of looking at things. "Text him right now," I lean towards Shannon. "Let's see if he even has his phone on him."

She whips out her sad little phone. sliding it up to get to the keypad. Have I mentioned that this group has the shittiest phones in history? Like, Tyler has the fucking texting phone that were hella popular in like sixth grade, when it was cool to have a sliding phone with it's own keyboard. Shannon is only advanced by a smear. Her tiny phone is just a square that has a touch screen and then you can slide it up for the keyboard. It's shit, too. Doesn't even work half the time and I'm pretty sure Tyler has had his phone about three times. His dad likes to get the same one each time he accidentally breaks it. Me, on the other hand....well, see, my mom and I go through phones nearly every other month.  At the moment, I do have a cellular device, but give it a month or two and I'll either be without one or I'll have a new one with a new number. This is why I hate giving out my phone number and why I'd rather just give peeps my home phone and make them call me.

"There I sent it," Shannon looks up from her phone and watches Jacob through her big purple glasses.

The three of us wait for him to take out his phone and open her message. It takes him a good one minute before he pulls out his phone from his pocket and lights up the screen. His expression is unchanging, even as his thumb flicks up, pauses, and then locks his phone and puts it back in his pocket. He glances our way but makes no effort to smile or even acknowledge Shannon.

"He got your message right?" Tyler frowns. His eyebrows are pushed up so high it almost looks like it hurts.

"Yeah," Shannon says quietly as her eyes turn downward and her posture slumps a bit. "Sent it to him through text message and through kik. Guess he doesn't want to talk."

Guess he's not the only who doesn't want to talk, I think to myself as I look over to Sabrina.

End

Song: Worthy by Jacob Banks