Ocean // BTS

IV

For once I break the rules.

A sign to myself and everyone else.

I stand and rush to the door, throwing it open as everyone inside stares my way immediately. Someone from behind runs and grabs my arm, telling me to go back outside. I struggle, and his brother's terrified eyes follow me.

My heart pulls. At the memory. The feeling. Him. Who am I?

Someone who was by the bed runs to me too, ready to attack, but I'm not going to take it. As their hand lands on mine, his brother's mouth trembles, then opens.

He tells them to stop.  He looks at me. I think my pleading eyes are kind enough to rat me out.

He wipes a few of his tears and walks over to me. He has a second of calm while the rest of the room is utter chaos.

He tells the people holding onto me to let me in. He recognizes me, but I don't know if he wants me there. It's his brother sitting in the hospital bed, anyways. And I don't think he knows that he isn't just a friend to me.

His brother puts his hand on my cheek. Maybe I was crying.

He grabs my quivering hand and brings me to the bed, squeezing it. No words need to be said. He knows I need to be there and I'm thankful.

A nurse stops us in our tracks and tells us only two close family members can be there. His brother looks at the others, and they communicate through the air. He gives me a nod before leaving. He goes the opposite way in the halls. 

And then, suddenly, here I am, the place I've been anticipating for a long fifteen minutes. And it isn't what I wanted.