The Risen

Chapter 16: Dark Thoughts

        I land heavily on my right arm and knee. My wrist is jammed upwards. My arm gives out with a shake and a stab of pain, and suddenly I have a face full of dirt.

        I groan as my arm throbs. I spit out dirt and stand.

      I look back at the warehouse. The front and back doorways have collapsed, as did almost the whole roof/ceiling.

        Flames lick the dry grass, which ignites. The flames hiss as water from the old sprinkler system steadily pours down on it. 

        I hear sirens in the near distance. I sprint back to the car, wincing as each step jars my arm. I see movement to my left and jerk around, ready to fight, but it's just Mom. She smiles and runs alongside me.

        Mom and I get in the car. 

        "Ollie, take us back to Alice Doble's house," Mom says. 

        "I would be happy to, Beth Rado," Ollie replies.

        "You really are your father's daughter!" Mom tells me, sad and proud at the same time. She twists around in her seat to smile. Tears brim her eyes. She wipes them away.  

        She knows we might have just killed him.

        I smile back. 

        Should I be sad? Happy that he's gone? After all, he was a monster. 

        It's all because of me! If I hadn't brought him back to life, he would't have been able to turn more dead people into zombies. I wouldn't have to worry about being attacked, and I wouldn't have to make plans to get him killed again! 

        I turn to the window and rest my head against it, staring at the familiar landscape rushing past. 

        "Oh, honey, it is not your fault!" Mom says sharply.

        Can she read minds?

        Then it dawns on me . . . I must have said that out loud!

        Crap. Now they're going to think I'm a depressed person who needs to be on medication! And trust me, medication would not help.

        I glance over at Keira. She's looking at me with pity, and something else. Understanding. 

        Then it hits me. Keira went through what I'm feeling right now. Her father died. All those years, I didn't treat her any different than I would have if her dad was still living. And maybe that's why she chose to stick by me, instead of going off to different friend groups where they would give her sympathy. She knew I wouldn't bring up the death of her father. She knew I wouldn't reopen any wounds. 

        I wonder whose situation is worse? I decide mine is. I watched as my dad bled to death, his own creation the source of the knife in his chest. I brought him back to life, just to have him try to kill me.

        Keira had time to grieve, while I was forced to push thoughts of Dad away and try to kill his creations. 

        Right now, I would settle for having my dad killed in a car crash.

        I recoil at my own thoughts. Where did they come from? Some dark recess of my mind that has been building with bitterness all this time? 

        I need to get away from my own head. I quickly dig my fingers into my pocket and pull out my phone I grabbed when I went back to my house.

        I pop my earphones in and turn the phone on. I go to my song selection. My phone screen projects the choices into the air in front of me in blue. I click on a random one and relief floods over me. I escape into the music and let it take me to a place that's far away from here.