Saved • A Colby Brock fanfic•

Part 5

The song doesn't go with the story, I just think it's sad.

~Colby~

All I wanted to do was hug her and comfort her, and help her recover from her pain... I was holding back tears as she slipped my hoodie on and curled back into a ball. I set my timer for 9 A.M. her dad usually got up at around 10, so I should be fine.

I lied beside her and wrapped my arms around the middle of her stomach, placing my head on top of hers, also intertwining our legs together. I laid there staring at the wall as I slowly heard her breathing slow down until she fell asleep. I quietly let tears slip from my eyes. 'You're becoming the old me... ' I thought to myself. As if I could still feel the blade along my wrist, I slowly smiled. 'If only you knew... ' you see... About seven years ago, in middle school I had both my parents murdered right in front of me. The guy who killed them was also going to kill me... But he kept me as a toy for a month or two... He was nice... When he wasn't slapping me and pounding into me violently, making me bleed. He let me take showers and eat, even though I thought I didn't deserve food. I'm pretty sure I only ate three times a month then. Other than that I had the occasional granola bar, or some chips, but that was all. I can still remember myself getting in the shower just to try and get the lingering feeling of that guys hands on me to get off. I remember scrubbing and scrubbing until I bled. I remember collapsing in the shower, and waking up hours later, still in the shower. I remembered when I used to just sit in that old bathtub, and just fill it with my own blood from The cuts all over my body, that I made myself.

I was brought out of my thoughts to Kia turning around and facing me. She must've heard me crying. "Woah, Colbs, are you okay? " She said confused at the state of mind I was in. "Yeah... I'm just wondering why you do this so much... " I quietly responded. I knew exactly why, it felt good. She just stared at me and furrowed her eyebrows. Tears started to build up in her eyes, dammit. Then the tears fell down her face, they kept coming and coming, and they wouldn't stop. Then I felt an urge to do something. The things I promised myself never to do again, but I had already broken that promise many times. I wanted to cut again. The reason? I just made my best friend cry, by asking a fucking question. That I already knew the answer of. "I'm sorry, just don't answer, I'll be right back, I have to use the bathroom... " I said kissing her forehead. I walked in and I saw the blood everywhere. Shit... I had an idea, a risky one, but it was a bit smart. It was risky for both me and Kia... (God, I hate myself for making this... Ughhhh)

I grabbed one of her many blades. And I ran it across my arms three times, as I watched the blood run down I smiled... Why? I don't fucking know. "Hey, Kia, can you come in here? " I whisper yelled. I heard shuffling and I heard the door open. I had put the blade down and my hands were behind my back.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? " She asked worried. I slowly moved my hands in front of me. By this time I had tears running down my face once again. "How does this make you feel? Hm? The fact that you're best friend just cut himself? How do you feel?! " I asked raising my voice a bit. She hasn't stopped staring at my wrists. I'm pretty sure she noticed the deep scars from the past. She started to choke out an apology, but her tears and shaky breath didn't give her a chance. I then felt arms around my waist, hugging me tightly. Her head was in my chest, I just hugged her back with the same amount of pressure she did on me. I then slowly leaned down a bit and placed my lips on the top of her head.