Pomegranate

Benji - 7

Benji felt like he had to say it. Actually, verbally, say it.

He couldn't focus, not on classes, not on practice. He kept ignoring Meredith's and Seth's unanswered texts. His parents would be there that weekend, for his orchestra performance and solo. Even as he sat in the library to do his Sociology reading, he kept circling back to the party. Their words.

He'll never want me. Not like that.

This isn't wrong.

Part of him knew what their words meant. What they had to mean.

The other part said he was stupid. He was imagining things.

But if he was right, if he hadn't misinterpreted them...

No, he couldn't hinge all his feelings based on how other people might feel. This is what messed him up from the beginning.

He had this strange, overwhelming need to just tell someone. A living person. He even made a list in his head of the people he could talk to: Corey (too close to both Meredith and Seth), Rita (they were not there yet), his parents (nope, nope, nope), even a friend from orchestra camp he still kept in touch by email.

Ultimately, Benji could come up with only one person: Lara Lieberman. She was a cello player at the orchestra, and the only person Benji really talked to in orchestra-related events. She was shy, sweet, and didn't look like the gossip kind. She was always telling Benji they should hang out outside of practice, and they did get dinner a couple of times before, but overall he felt awkward to reach out any further.

If there was a time to extend his awkwardness, it was now.

Do you want to order food together by any chance? I can't take the dining halls anymore and I remember you mentioned liking Chinese food? he texted.

A few minutes later, Lara replied: Omg, yes! Can we meet at my dorm? I'm doing laundry.

Lara lived in Markson House, a house-dorm not far from Strauss. The building was older but cozy. The bathrooms had bathtubs, the floor was hardwood, and Lara's room had a fake fireplace. She let Benji in wearing pajamas and a sweatshirt, with her hair in a bun. He was almost taken aback, only remembering her in monotone, serious clothes.

"I'm so glad we're getting to hang out," she said. "Did you already place the order?"

"Yeah." Benji dropped his bag by the door. "You said General Tsao's Chicken, right?"

"Yep!"

Like most people usually are, Lara was less shy in her own space. Benji understood that. He sat down on a purple bean bag Lara had in her double room, sinking until his knees reached his chest. She had fairy lights framing her windows and bed frame, small battery candles, watercolor illustrations on the walls, pillows, and blankets of lilac and cerulean blue tones.

"Your roommate isn't here?" He asked, double-checking he could actually talk to her.

"Yeah, Tess is at some curling tournament," Lara said, sitting cross-legged.

"Oh, cool."

"So, how are you feeling about the concert this weekend?"

Benji sighed in relief. He was afraid they would just sit in silence until he could muster the courage to talk to her. This was a familiar topic, and they could talk about things and people they knew. He immediately felt the tension breaking, laughing and nodding along to Lara.