Pomegranate

Benji - 11

Three days later, he was the one who texted Meredith. Seth said he and Meredith spent winter break apart, barely speaking, to figure out on their own what they wanted. They only talked when they returned to campus. Benji never had that time, and he deserved it.

"Just to be clear," Seth said before Benji had left the car the night after the concert, "your friendship is not a sad consolation prize, Benji. We just wanted to put the cards on the table. No more hiding, no more secrets. The rest is up to you. We'll be your friends no matter what you choose."

"Okay," he had said, but Seth's words didn't do much for the stones piling inside his lungs.

When he knocked on Meredith's door, she swung it open so fast he had the impression she was pacing by the door, waiting for him to arrive. She wore a soft lilac sweater with too-long sleeves, and her orange hair was braided to the side.

"Hi! Hi," she breathed, flustered. "Come in."

"Hey."

He was surprised to see Meredith's room was...less messy than usual. Not quite organized, but it looked like she cleaned it up. Her bed was made, there were no random articles of clothing on sight, and she had cleared her desk. Corey wasn't around, thankfully. Benji left his messenger bag on the chair, and the plate covered in aluminum foil on her desk.

"What's that?" Meredith asked.

Benji uncovered the aluminum foil carefully, as not to smudge the cream cheese frosting. "Carrot cake."

"Oh." Meredith's eyes were wide and soft all at once. "You made these?"

Benji shrugged. "You like carrot cake."

Meredith froze, stiffening like a statue, then turned abruptly away from him.

"Meredith?"

"Sorry, sorry." She said, her voice breaking. She sniffled, and both her hands came up to her face.

"Um...is it the cake?" Benji asked, confused. Meredith shook her head.

"I was such a horrible person to you." She said between sobs, wiping at her face with her hands. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Meredith..."

It hurt to see her like this, even with her back to him. Especially with her back to him, because Benji knew she wasn't embarrassed about crying — two seasons of Queer Eye taught him that. She was trying to protect him, keeping him from feeling guilty. She never said anything, but neither did Benji. It seemed now that they both had their own weight in hurting the other.

"I'm sorry, too," he said.

"Jesus." She exhaled. She turned and sat down on her bed, rubbing the tears away from her cheeks. Like the time when she said goodbye to Persephone, Benji pulled from his pocket a package of tissues. Meredith took one and blew her nose. Gingerly, Benji sat down next to her.

"I made a mess out of things," she said once the tears stopped.

"We all did," he said. "And it's not like this is the most normal situation. I mean... you, and me... and Seth..."

She chuckled. "It's weird, I know."

"Yeah."

"So..." She played with the loose thread on her socks. "You like him?"