affection. --orginial ver.

XVI

yes please hate me for this chapter because i hate myself for this chapter. it's okay i give you permission to.

enjoy~ (or don't)

Kairi's pov.

i just wish i knew that it wouldnt last.

Mattia and I peacefully fell asleep in the stolen house, with a dead body down stairs. I woke up before him, seeing that he definitely was a cuddler.

I got out of his grip, and went downstairs, even though my legs still hurt from our previous actions. It was dark outside, and there was clouds. I flipped the kitchen light on, seeing the poor old lady with multiple stab wounds in her back.

The dried blood covered the versatile, white, pink, and green tile. I wasn't scared or surprised at the scene, but it did creep me out considering goody two shoes mattia did that.

I grabbed a glass of water, and began wandering around the house. Everything was in perfect condition, and very tidy.

The carpet was a creme color, and all the furniture matched. It was a very grandmother setting.

"kairi?" I heard from the top of the steps. "what're you doing up?"

"i needed more water." i responded, not really listening to him.

pounding, but soft steps were heard followed by a soft hand on my shoulder as i looked out the giant front window.

"you need to sleep." He whispered in my ear, brushing his lips against my neck.

"i'll be up in a second, just gonna take a quick look around." I turned and smiled at him. He nodded and went back upstairs.

I was in desperate need of a blunt, the withdrawals of the drug causing me to feel uncomfortable.

I went back to the kitchen, noticing a phone. I called alvaro, hoping he'd be able to bring me some.

"hello?" The voice was quiet.

"hi alvaro, it's kairi."

"oh. hi." he sounded irritated now, and i heard shuffling.

"i need a blunt."

"okay? why are you telling me?"

"i want you to bring me one, duh."

"kairi it's the middle of the night."

"when has that ever been a problem?" I sighed, tapping my foot on the tile. "just forget it aloe, i'll talk to you tomorrow."

He said a quick goodbye, and i went back to the comfy bed. Mattia was asleep again, sleeping on his stomach with a hand under his cheek.

he looked so calm; relaxed, stress free.

One the other hand my body was a nervous wreck. My hands were cold and shaky, and my chest tightened. It became hard to breathe.

My thoughts raced as i remembered the incident yesterday. with my mother.

i killed her in cold blood. and now everyone would know that i am just some bitchy criminal who killed their mother.

Alvaro didn't like me anymore, because Alejandro was now dead. so i probably meant nothing to my friends anymore.

Mattia was all i had left.

And at any given moment he could just get up and walk out of my life. then i'd be back at square one.

I snuggled the boy, and his arm wrapped around me. "ka- holy shit are you crying?"