affection. --orginial ver.

XXII

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Mattia's pov.

I sat silently in the car, hearing sirens in the background. I hit my head on the steering wheel, jumping when the door opened.

"go." I heard, causing me to reverse and pull out of the lot.

"i don't remember the way back to your house." I mumbled, seeing him out of breath.

"it's our house baby." He breathed out, leaning the seat back. "but uh, i'll show you."

After he showed me the way, i sat in the car with him for a while.

"are you okay mattia?"

"there's something on my mind."

"tell me, if you're comfortable." He lazily smiled, looking at me with a tired face.

"why'd you say you killed my mom? i mean, i know i killed her but why'd you say it?"

(didn't this nigga already ask this?)

he took a second to think, "you blamed it on me. i guess i just thought that is was me because i've killed so many."

"oh." i sighed. "do you feel guilty?"

"sometimes. when i feel soft or something. but i've only ever felt soft around you." He took my hand, holding it tightly.

"how do you get over the guilt?"

"drugs." he snorted. "i distract myself, but it's different for everyone."

"how do you think i could get over it?" I complained.

"not killing people anymore. but if we're being real here, i have no idea."

"well that helps."

"matti. i don't know what works for you. you have to find that out for your own. i wish i could help but i can only do so much."

I smiled and nodded, going inside. Kairi stayed by my side, and went to the kitchen.

"want a drink?"

"sure." I waved him off, going through the bag he brought to the gas station.

He set a small glass in front of me. "i didn't know what you wanted so i just got wine for the both of us."

"do you ever get tired of robbing places?"

"you ask too many questions. let's just chill for a second." He sighed and closed his eyes. He downed the drink, and leaned on my shoulder.

"you're awfully calm."

"i needed to after oliver."

kairi's pov.

Both mattia and i were leaning over the counter, drinking slowly. We ended up going upstairs, laying on the bed together.

"hey kai?"

"you can only speak if you're not gonna ask questions." I closed my eyes, wanting silence for a minute.

"damn."

"fine, one question."

"oliver said you guys had a contract, what does that even mean?"

I sat up, leaning on my elbows. "he saved me from a certain job i was assigned. since he's a manipulative piece of shit he needed closure and wanted me to repay him. the contract lasts for 5 years in total. and there's 2 years left. so i have to do whatever he says or he's gonna send his bitchy white kids to kill my ass." I spoke, staring forwards.