Borrowing Sebastian [COMPLETED]

Chapter Twenty-six

I walked out from him after I said those words. It feels surreal — yesterday, we're fine and happy and now, we are breaking. It hurts letting him go when my heart says don't. He's my first love and I thought will probably the last but it turned out that he's not. Sebastian was just a phase in my life — a phase I don't want to end. But look at me now, walking alone in the middle of the night, absolutely clueless on where to head first. Nahihiya akong bumalik sa bahay at baka magalit sila Nanay at Tatay kay Sebastian at sa pamilya niya. I can't blame them but what questions me the most is, bakit nila hinayaan si Sebastian? I need answers but tonight wouldn't be the right time.

Nakalabas na ako sa subdivision nila Sebastian at hindi ko alam kung saan tutungo. I even left my things inside the guest room and that includes my phone and wallet. I'm still even wearing another set of pj's Sebastian bought yesterday.

I inhaled exasperatedly. I want to scream and at the same time cry. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang gagawin ko. All I know was, I am hurting. I can't even see things clearly dahil sa namumuong luha sa mga mata ko. I wiped it away harshly dahil mas nagmumukha lang akong kawawa sa mga mata ng ibang tao. Ngayon ko lang napansin na nakayapak lang pala ako and every person who passed by me will definitely look at me. I saw pity on their eyes and some even looked at me weirdly.

Hindi ako baliw!

Gusto kong isigaw ang mga katagang iyan para malaman nilang nasa tamang pag-iisip pa ako.

I'm just hurt not crazy.

How can people be this judgemental by just seeing things? Hindi ba pwedeng nasaktan lang kaya nagkaganito ako? Hindi ba nila pwedeng isipin na pinag-taksilan ako ng mga taong akala ko ay mahal ako?

My lips trembled again. Oh my gosh, I can't believe I can be like this! This is not the Kirsten I used to be. I didn't know that break up will feel like this. Noon, gusto kong makaranas nang mga ganito pero ngayon hindi na ako natutuwa. Noon, tinatawanan ko lang ang mga taong naghihiwalay sa tabi ng kalsada pero ngayon ako na ang nasa kanilang sitwasyon. Ironic.

I am about to cross the road to Mia's house but a sudden beep filled my ears. Halos mapasigaw ako sa gulat at gulantang na napatingin sa taong bumaba mula sa kaniyang sasakyan.

"Kirsten!"

Mas napaiyak akong lalo nang makitang si Topher ito. Ilang buwan na ba kaming hindi nagkita nitong lalaking ito?

Dali-dali akong napatakbo sa kaniya at agad siyang niyakap. Humagulhol agad ako sa dibdib niya at pilit siyang niyakap nang mahigpit. I even heard him chuckle a little then I felt his hand caressing my back.

"Miss mo ako nang sobra?" He kidded pero alam kong pinapagaan niya lang ang naramdaman ko. I nodded my head slowly while my face is still on his chest.

Gosh, I missed this guy! I thought I am going to be alone tonight but God gave me a person who can understand my situation right now.

It took me a couple of minutes before I decide to let Topher go. I bowed my head, trying to cover and wipe the tears on my face para hindi niya makita kung gaano ako ka-miserable. I am even sobbing while doing it hanggang sa naramdaman kong itinaas niya ang mukha ko at pinatingin sa kaniyang mga mata.

Wala akong nagawa kundi tumitig din sa kaniya kahit may nahuhulog pa ring luha mula sa mga mata ko. I smiled bitterly, trying to remove it away pero naunahan na niya ako.

He wiped it away using his thumbs at biglang nagsalita, "I left you alive and happy but now, I'm back, I didn't expect to see you crying. What happened?"

Mas napahagulhol ako at ipinikit ang mga mata habang iniyugyog ang ulo. "Topher..."

He slightly nodded his head before letting my face go. I heard him clicked his tongue at tumingin sa akin. "Mama and Ate is at home. You'll be fine there."

I smiled at him and nodded my head. Mas maganda sigurong magpalipas muna ako ng isang gabi sa kanila. There is no harm in staying in Topher's place since we became best of friends back in highschool. We just separated when we started College because he pursued Psychology sa Cebu. Magkikita lang kami kapag bakasyon and I didn't really expect to see him tonight.

Papasok na sana ako sa kotse niya nang may biglang tumawag sa pangalan ko at biglang tumibok ang puso ko.

Damn. I knew that voice. There is only one person who can make my heart race like this. It's as if his voice was recorded inside my system and my heart will go erratically insane after hearing his voice.

Lumingon ako sa likod ng kotse at nakita ko siyang pabalik-balik ang tingin sa amin ni Topher.

Ngunit imbes na pagtuuanan si Topher nang pansin, pinuntahan niya ako at kinuha ang kamay. Pilit ko namang tinatanggal ang pagkakahawak niya ngunit mas malakas siya kaya hindi ako makawala.

I heard Topher called my name at agad namang napahinto si Sebastian at binalingan nang tingin si Topher.

"Sebastian, please, let me go." I whisper when I felt electric bolts in between him and Topher.

God, I don't want another fight for today. Earlier was enough at ayaw ko nang dagdagan ito.

Nilingon ako ni Sebastian but I saw firmness on his eyes, "ihahatid kita sa inyo. Please, let me. Kahit ngayon lang. I'm worried kapag hindi ko alam kung saan ka pupunta."

"Gosh, Sebastian just let me go!" I shouted and he immediately stop. I saw pain crossed on his eyes at agad naman akong napakagat ng labi.

Why is this man so fucking complicated?!

"Kirsten, I just want you safe tonight!"

"I am with Topher and there is no way Topher would hurt me just what you did!"

I felt him froze on his spot at unti-unti niyang niluwagan ang pagkakahawak sa akin. I heard him chuckle a little and he bowed his head down — playing his car keys.

"Is my one mistake, define me as a man capable of loving you, Kirsten?" He whispered and I am taken aback by his sudden question.

I just shook my head at him bago nagsalita, "not now, Sebastian. Just please? Pagpahingain mo muna ako." I begged at him then I saw him nodded his head slowly while biting his upper lip. Nilingon niya si Topher at medyo tumango dito bago nagsalita, "take care of my woman. Mahal ko 'yan."

After he said those words, he left us and he immediately drove his car away. I am left astounded on what I heard at napansin kong bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.

A bitter smile escaped from my lips and murmured, "my heart does love you, Sebastian. It would always be you"

Nilingon ko si Topher na nakatingin pala sa sasakyang papalayo bago ibinalik ang tingin sa akin. "So, that was Sebastian whose name is can't be be spell without 'sin'?"

Napatawa ako nang mahina sa narinig. Mia really did her reports to Topher kung ano ang nangyayari sa barkada.

"Baliw." I murmured at binuksan ang pinto sa front seat. I fastened my seatbelt first and then pumasok din si Topher sa driver's seat. I saw him look at me while smiling at agad naman akong napakunot ng noo.

"What?"

"I missed that smile."

My heart clenched on what I heard.

Damn, this guy.

If I were to choose kung sino ang lalaking gusto kong mamahalin sa susunod na buhay, that would be Topher. He's a great guy and a true friend that everyone needs. But sadly, I can't love him because my heart only beats for Sebastian and he already has a girl in Cebu. Yep. He's kinda taken and we're just friends. Aside from Kuya, I have Topher who I can call my common ground — my Knight and my best friend.

"Isa pa nga." He teased at agad ko naman siyang ni-ngitian ng hilaw.

"Hindi ganiyan. Ganito oh." Then he moved next to me at hinawakan ang gilid ng labi ko bago inistretch.

"Aray!"

"Ganiyan." then he move my face from left to right kaya wala akong nagawa kundi tumawa dahil sa kakulitan niya.

"That is what I want to see tonight. Not that face I saw earlier, Kirsten."