Ted the tubby

The Sneakout

"Ted? Is that you?" The young apprentice stopped dead in his descent down the darkened stairs. "Ted are you sneaking out?" Ted turned slowly to face his sister. Lucy glared at him from the top of the stairs. Her blond hair was tangled in a mat and she was still in her white bathrobe. "I'm going on a quest, Lucy." Ted said, smiling slightly.

Lucy narrowed her eyes at him. There were many things about her brother she disliked, but this slight rebelliousness was an outlier she enjoyed. Lucy reached into her bathrobe pocket and handed Ted a bead. It was small, green, made of wood, and a very unusual gift. Ted gave Lucy an odd look. "It's for luck." She explained. "How unlike you, Lucy." Ted said playfully. "Hey, first quest." Lucy turned away from him and headed up the stairs. "It's a special occasion."

"Ah my sweet." Sir Bryan the Brave wiped auburn hair away from a pixieish face. That particular face belonged to a girl who wasn't as alarming curvy as Jessie the Brave, but instead was petite and light as a feather. They had just finished a passionate goodbye kiss for Sir Bryan the Brave.

Moonlight lit the couple outside the stables, outlining them in blue. Another kissing match broke out. "Oh my brave knight." The girl whispered breathlessly. "Will you ever return? I am forever afraid for you." Sir Bryan the Brave laughed quietly. "You are only worried that Jessie the Brave will find us out."

The girl gave a dramatic gasp. "Oh you can't think that. We love each other, don't we?" Sir Bryan the Brave lunged for her and pressed their faces together. "We do." The girl trembled. Barrus galloped into the courtyard just on cue, and Sir Bryan the Brave swept himself on top of the horse with an manly clank of of armor.

"I WILL COME FOR YOU MY LOVE!" Sir Bryan the Brave yelled with great spirit as Barrus reared up on his hind legs and the girl made a sound like balloon losing air. The horse's hooves hit the pavement with a mighty thump and Barrus sped away into the night. Behind a slightly open stable door, Henry rolled his eyes.

Barrus had just reached the edge of the woods when he heard him. " Sir Bryan!" "TED!" Sir Bryan the Brave watched furiously as his apprentice's large belly appeared from behind a tree. He was obviously happy to see his teacher, but Sir Bryan the Brave did not share the feeling.

Ted wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, and he didn't quite realize the obvious flaw in his plan. He fully expected Sir Bryan the Brave to accept him almost immediately once he arrived.

It didn't quite turn out like that.