The Demigod Games (PJO/THG)

23 - That Relatable Moment When You Realize You're 176 Years Old

- Frank

I knew we were in trouble as soon as I saw the gray wallpaper.

No, if you're asking, I didn't sense danger when the doctor told us our papers were invalid, or when I heard the door of the room we'd just entered lock behind us, or even when I saw a police officer sitting on a chair, handcuffs ready.

Nah - it was the wallpaper that gave it away. I mean, who even colors their walls that kind of shade and expects it to be cozy? Gray wallpaper, for me, was the literal embodiment of trouble - the walls were basically screaming, You're in deep shit, kid.

Anyways, as Hazel and I entered the dimly lit room, we were greeted by a nice pair of handcuffs clicking onto our arms - ignoring our cries of protest, the doctor calmly showed us over to a sober table, where we sat across from a seemingly hungover police officer.
Then again, everyone looked hungover here, so there really was no way to tell.

"What the hell is this?" I demanded, bringing out my manly voice everyone knew well.

- Stop coughing loudly, Hazel!
- What? So now my throat isn't allowed to ache?
- I know you're doing it on purpose.
- I'm not.
- No one coughs that loud, Hazel! I do have a manly voice.
- I'm sure you do, Frank.
- Stop! I know you're being sarcastic. I can be sarcastic too, you know.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, and I'll show you. Hazel, you're, uh, a man.
- ... That's not how it works.
- Yes, it is. I told a lie, so it's sarcasm. Because you're not a man. Get it?
- ...
- Get it?
- You're such a dingus.

ANYWAYS, before I was rudely interrupted, I was talking about how we were asking the police officer what this was all about.

"I'm sorry for our, erm, radical methods, but we have noticed a problem in the files you have filled up. A big problem, in fact..." The police officer replied enigmatically.

"What problem?" Hazel asked, as exasperated as I was.

"This might come out as a shock to you." Oh gods, this man did not know at what point we were beyond being shocked right now.

"Well, I'll say this bluntly, but here it is: the people you have been pretending to be on this form... have all passed away over a hundred years ago."

Okay, maybe not totally beyond shock.

Bewildered, Hazel and I just stared blankly at the officer, waiting for a familiar "And you've been.... trolllled!" or for a hidden camera to reveal itself, perhaps with a friendly jingle. I liked friendly jingles.

Unfortunately, this man seemed dead serious - and we weren't getting any jingles anytime soon, I could sense it.

"Dead?" Hazel repeated, her voice distant.

"Yes..." The officer coughed and checked his file. He cleared his throat and announced, reading from a paper, "Hazel Levesque, born December 17th, 1928 to Marie Levesque and an undeclared father, has deceased-" The officer frowned at the page. "-on January 18th, 2096 - oh God, even these files seem to be corrupted - in late Washington of the United States, during the Dry Era, due to natural causes. Frank Zhang, born on June 5, 1994 to Emily Zhang and... an undeclared father - well, these two seem like quite the mystery - has deceased on January 19th, 2096 at late Washington, yadda-yadda-yadda. I think I have made my point."
The officer leaned back into his chair, seemingly satisfied.

The until-now unnoticeable doctor approached us, pushing himself away from the wall and stepping into the dim light.

"Look, it's possible we have made a mistake, but it seems the people you're mistaken for are long gone. Hell, the Dry Era... where did you get them from? History books?"

Hazel shook her head. "Look, I don't know what you're talking about, but the people standing in front of you are Hazel Levesque and Frank Zhang, in person. Your birth dates are accurate and correspond to what we filled out on the form, and as far as I'm concerned, we're very much alive."

The doctor's expression hardened.

"I see. So you admit being born respectively in 1928 and 1996. And having almost seventy years of age difference? Becaude it sure as hell doesn't look like it. Then again, botox has made progress in the past years, but if you're saying the truth my wife's going to want to know the brand you're using." The doctor raised an eyebrow. We both stammered, not knowing what to say- how could we answer his questions without revealing Hazel's past life?

At our lack of responses, the doctor's expression coldened. "Do you know what happens to identity thieves?"

Hazel and I exchanged a glance, then simultaneously shrugged. "We wouldn't know, because we. are. not. identity. thieves."
At that the doctor raised his eyebrows and nodded slightly, making a tut-tut sound. "And denial, I see."
He glanced at the police officer.

"Well, I'll tell you - both of you are going to happily spend the rest of your lives in pris-"

Abruptly, the doctor stopped in his speech mid-phrase, his expression a mask of shock, as something quite indescribable happened.

It was as if the already-dark room had gotten a bit dimmer, although no lights had gone off. Outside, air whooshed in the streets, eerily making its path in the sinuous, dusty alleys. The entire place seemed to slightly freeze in time, as if the universe was holding its breath.

And that was when I saw it.

Hazel gasped, noticing it at the same time as me- it was incredibly rapid and a blink would've made me miss it, but I was certain of what I had seen. A sort of purple whiff of air, violet mist floating in the room, then disappearing, inhaled by the doctor's and police officer's nostrils.

They both gasped, and their vision seemed to blank out for a second - then, in front of our shocked faces, they exchanged a knowing look, and smiled. Smiled.

"Change of plans. You two aren't going to lifetime prison." The doctor grinned even more, which somehow made him even creepier. "I think I have something even better prepared for you - yes, I think it will do."

The two of them laughed a horrible, rasping laugh, exactly identical. It was as if it had been emanating by the same person...

"You two, lucky pair, are happily off to participate in the 74th Hunger Games!"

At that precise moment, I knew Hazel and I were thinking the exact same thing.

What the fuck?

____

Author's Note - Saturday, May 2nd

Hi guys! I'm sorry for the cliffhangers, I guess its just my evil nature *satanic laugh* but dont worry! You'll see your questions answered soon. Or not. Depends on how much I want to annoy you.

Anyways, if you enjoyed this chapter, uh, be sure to leave a twinkly little star! And comment what you thought about it (even if you hated it - I won't be (too) mad)

New chapters are coming soon! If you have any POV requests comment them too, and I'll see ya around!

- Hey, Hazel?
- Yeah?
- What's a dingus?
- *sigh*

Love ya guys! ❤