temptation | kylo ren.

chapter thirteen.

a night to always remember. the way he held you close to him and enjoyed his embrace. it was just like in the princess fairytales you read.

kylo was asleep next to you, snoring and you kissed the side of his head, getting dressed for the day. you slipped on his shirt and yawned, eyes adjusting to the bright sun. you walked out of the room, and down the hall, straight to the headquarters. not even five minutes in, a guard already notified you that someone hatched in a call for you.

"this is the empress." you announced and waited for a response. "ah, empress palpatine. so nice to hear your voice again." you heard madeline say, rolling your eyes and groaned.

"what's the issue, madeline?"

"i'm sure you've heard about the solar eclipse."

"i have. why do you care?"

she chuckled and the radio waves were static for a few seconds, dead silence. "i'll see on the day of the eclipse. it's suppose to be a fun one. will your husband be joining just to protect you? possibly rey, as well?" she asked and you sighed, chewing onto your lower lip nervously.

"that is none of your concern, madeline. or should i say, violet skywalker."

"shut up, empress."

"i think i'm good. you're no villain or monster. you're nothing, and your dad doesn't even love you anymore. you will always be worthless. try to provoke me again, and i'll ruin your life."

you shut off the hatch center and groaned louder, guards staying silent but eyeing each other. "listen up! the day before the eclipse, you all will get commander ren off this base, and if he tries to fight back, you hold him down until you get to the secluded location. is that understood?" you asked and they nodded, hands folded behind their backs. "make up a believable excuse of why he is leaving without me. i want him protected at that base."

"yes, empress!" they said in a unison and you smiled in satisfaction, nodding. "that means everyone goes. every single person and don't let the commander get inside your head. he will try to, but you all need to try to resist him." you spoke and they nodded, never looking at you. "and if i die, rey the scavenger will no longer be allowed on this planet or near the risen, and the commander has full control of it all. your duties will be to protect him every second. your lives are meant to be at risk to serve him." you explained, staring out the window and rubbed your temple.

"am i interrupting something?" you heard kylo ask, causing you to spin around and look at him, swallowing thickly. he snapped his fingers, signaling the guards to give you and him privacy.

"hey. why aren't you asleep? you must be exhausted." you told him, smiling nervously and patted his chest. "don't play dumb with me, what were you talking about." he said and you shrugged, taking a few steps back from him.

"u-uh, getting new information about the location, see how everyone is doing. that's all." you said, hoping he would believe you. he nodded, glaring into your eyes and grinned. "i've been meaning to ask you. before i blacked out, i saw rey run for her life. what was all that about?" you asked and his fists flexed in his gloves, eyes turning away from yours.

"i blamed her. i told her if she didn't disappear, i would murder her. i was angry in the moment."

"did you mean it, though?"

he nodded, biting his lip and suddenly felt ashamed in himself. there was silence. an awkward, cold silence. you only stared at him, hearing him inhale sharply and looked at you. "i offered you my hand once. you wanted to take it, why didn't you?" he asked and you thought for a moment, shrugging again.

"i felt like i couldn't fulfill the dark side with you then. besides, you were never dark." you answered honestly and he scoffed, raising his brows. "you could've chosen someone else. why didn't you?"

it was an interrogation now, back and forth. "i didn't want anyone else, and never will. i want you and you're mine." he reminded you and you rolled your eyes, cheeks puffing out. "you sure you mean that?" you questioned, walking out of the headquarters and kylo trailing behind you.

"what is that suppose to mean?"

"well, i didn't forget your dick was in rey when i was dying."

"i thought we were over that!"

you stopped in your tracks and turned around, scoffing. "we aren't, because it still hurts me. how many times are you going to keep breaking my heart, kylo ren?" you asked and he stayed silent, causing you to nod and lips in a thin line. "that's what i thought."

you walked away, shaking your head and felt tears coming into your eyes. "you know, i don't know what happened to ben solo, but tell him i miss him a lot." you told him and walked into the bedroom, sniffling. you collapsed onto the bed, curling underneath the blanket and sobbed into the pillow face first, your tears soaking it.

you clutched the blanket to your chest, trying to catch some air. you felt arms wrap around your body and bring you into their embrace. "please stop crying.. i hate it when you cry." kylo whispered, setting you down on his lap and let you sob into his chest. his hold was always warm and protective, even felt like home, though you never knew what that really was like.

kylo kissed your forehead and cupped your cheeks, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. "i'm sorry, darling. i never meant to hurt you this badly." he said and you sniffled more, frowning. "i just wanted you to love me.." you mumbled and looked down, more tears falling.

"i do love you, and i'm still not the best at showing it, probably never will be, but i'm trying. i do love you, so much. i'm in love with you, it's so infinite." his voice cracked and became shaky as he spoke to you, watching you fall apart in his arms.

"then why, kylo! why did you sleep with her!" you begged for answers, wanting the truth and no more sugarcoated bullshit. he gulped and sighed, eyes becoming watery too.

"there's no real honesty answer. i was sad and scared. i needed to release my anger and pain onto someone, or into someone, and she was there, since you almost died because of me. you risked your life and i was blaming myself. she was there and that was it, but there was no connection felt during it. and honestly, it was awful and i've always been disgusted in myself ever since then." he responded and stared into your sad, doe eyes, heart aching from it.

"do you love me, kylo ren?"

"yes i do. i love you so much, i'd die for you."

you closed your eyes for a moment, trying to catch your breath and comprehend his answer. you opened them up and sighed, nodding. you wish you could tell him you would be risking your life again for him, and you'd possibly die, and if you'd died, you didn't want him to cry over you or beg for your soul to return and stay with him forever. you knew he was strong and wished he would be strong forever, with or without you.

"you're crazy, kylo ren."

"it's only because i'm so in love with you, darling."

"no. no. it's because i'm so in love with you." you said and he smiled, kissing your forehead once again. you were scared, and wanted to cherish every moment with him.

because it could be the last moments of your entire life.