temptation | kylo ren.

chapter twenty, the finale.

it's been a week. a week since you lost ben. you never once left the bed that you once shared with him. you couldn't sleep anymore. you couldn't eat. you were starting to feel numb. leia and rey would constantly check up on you. poe would be the one to burst into your room when you had the repeat nightmare of ben death's of when you did sleep, and hug you.

it didn't seem real anymore. any of it. you stared at the ceiling, the sun starting to rise. the risen was now the resistance. you didn't want to be a leader without ben. you even thought of striking your saber into yourself so you could be with him. you sniffled and decided to get up for a bit, do a little bit of stretching.

ben's clothes were neatly folded on the dresser and you stared at them. you got up and looked out of the window, finding the sun even depressing. you walked over to the shelf, going on your tiptoes to grab your favorite book until you accidentally bumped into it and another book fell down.

it was ben's book. you remember he read it to you, only once. it was a book his grandfather left behind and he told you to never touch or read it. this time, you disobeyed. you grabbed the book and a folded letter was on the ground, causing you to raise a brow. you picked it up, putting the book back on the shelf and sat on the edge of the bed, opening up the paper

it was a letter, for you. it was his handwriting and he titled it 'my forever love'. he wrote it few days before going to exegol. you must have been asleep when he wrote it. you inhaled sharply and prepared yourself, emotionally and mentally.

my forever love;
- as i'm writing this, you're asleep, peacefully next to me and snoring. why do you always snore? sometimes it's loud, sometimes it's silent but i don't mind it. you're so beautiful. gosh, i am so in love with you. i didn't know i was able to feel this much for a human being. i thought it was impossible. i thank your parents everyday for bringing you into this world and to the force who guided you to me. i love you, and i know you've probably heard that so many times from me, and probably get annoyed of it, but i love you.

you are the love of my life. we're a dyad in the force. before i met you, life was miserable and sad. it was nothing but sickening and hatred. i was brainwashed, manipulated, abuse and tortured by snoke. i never thought i'd get out of that mess.

but when i saw you for the first time, before we met in the medbay, you caught my full attention. i felt something warm in my heart and i tried to ignore it. when i saw you, you had a bright smile and were laughing with someone. i already felt the connection before i met you. i felt it when you were standing there.

if this whole plan works out, we can maybe start a family, of our own. pass down our force to our kids and i really want to name one anakin, please. i want to spend the rest of my life with you. where we stay in bed and our kids jump on top of us, waking us up. where we go to the forest and stare at the sky for endless hours or days. that's my favorite thing to do with you.

when we got married, i felt happiness. for the first time. happiness is with you and i don't want to lose you. that's my biggest fear. everyone was there to watch us confess our love for each other. you had on a dress that my mother and rey made for you in the span of three days, and i still don't know how they managed to do it, but they did. you were so beautiful. especially when chewie made you a crown out of random flowers he found.

i remember everything.

every single moment we had together. good or bad, i remember it. and i will always hate myself for breaking your heart. i never meant to, but i promise from now on, i will
value it with my whole soul. i will value you. i will kneel before you, if i have to. i love you. i love you more than anything else in this infinite galaxy- this galaxy we call ours.