temptation | kylo ren.

chapter sixteen.

you walked into the room, searching for your book, rampaging every shelf and looking through drawers. "found it." you mumbled and grabbed it, flipping through pages and found the small paper.

ben sat down next to you on the bed, his arm snaking around your waist and read the letter with you. you read word by word, their letter being apologetic of leaving you alone in this world, though knowing you would do great things. that they loved you sincerely and you would see them soon one day.

you finished the letter and sniffled, few tears staining your cheeks. a guard knocked on the hatch, ben allowing them to enter. "commander, empress, it's the ordeal again." the guard spoke and immediately took off, almost bolting away.

you and him directed yourselves to the headquarters, confused on what they wanted this time, especially when you made it clear you'd ruin madeline's life.

you sat down and let the hatch call run through. "empress, hello. how are you?" she asked and you rolled your eyes, looking up at ben.

"i'm great. what do you want now?"

"i have a little guest with me, here." she told you and you were even more confused, finding her childish in a way. "yeah? and who is that, violet?" you asked and you heard a muffled groan in the background, though it sounded like a familiar someone.

"rey from jakku, who else!" she exclaimed and your stomach turned, knowing she was in danger. though you still had much hatred for her, you needed to save her.

"let her go, violet! she's a good person."

"no, no. i won't let her go. don't forget, i'm force sensitive too and she seems to be scared right now."

there was panic in your eyes and ben saw them, not knowing what to do either. screw it, you would be risking your life in about a day and you'd risk for rey now, too.

"i'll make you a deal!"

"and what is that?"

"give rey back to the resistance, no war and ben stays safe and i'll turn to the ordeal! on the day of the eclipse, i'll turn to you and never look back!" you offered and saw your husband wanting to smack you back of the head, mumbling the words idiot and dumbass.

"is that so?"

"yes, i promise. i'll bow before you, if you want. but you bring rey to me in one piece and no harm on her, and we have a deal. got it?"

"got it, empress. see you soon."

the call ended and you instantly got up, tears stinging your eyes and you looked at ben. he had a dead expression on his face. "do you really think i'd turn to the ordeal?" you asked and he shrugged, not knowing if he should believe you or not.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes, flipping him off. "the eclipse is tomorrow." he reminded you and you nodded, remembering that you had one day left with him. you had a gut feeling that something bad would happen. the same feeling you had moments before stepping into the throne room.

you stared out the window, looking at the sun and sighed, closing your eyes for a few second. "ben, you need to go to the risen's secluded base, please. i can do this." you told him and turned back around, looking at him.

"no, i'm not letting you do this alone. we're doing this together." he said and stepped closer towards you, holding your hands in his. "if i die, please don't turn to the dark and don't blame yourself. please. i'm doing this because i love you." you pleaded and tears came back into your eyes, wishing he could just listen.

"if you loved me, you'd let me stay. not fight alone and risk your soul for me. you've done that so many times, darling. i won't lose you again." his voice cracked and stared down into your eyes, swearing he never even blinked.

you shook your head, letting his hand go and sniffled, finding it hard to stare into his eyes. "please don't do this. you know i can't lose you. i need you." his voice became softer but sadder, begging more and more for you not to do this. your fingers clutched into your hair, trying to think and didn't know anymore what was right, for you and for him.

your glossy eyes looked into his broken ones, that were hopeless and desperate. "if i die, you don't use your life force to bring me back. do you got that? you let me die." you told him and he shook his head, refusing to let that even happen.

"no no, i won't let you die. i would give up my life for yours."

"no, ben. if i die, you let me die on that ground and never turn."

he inhaled sharply and thought to himself, tears streaming down his cheeks. he muttered an agreement and you kissed his cheek, hands on his shoulders.

"i know you don't want that, but after everything you've been through, you deserve to live more than i do."

he went silent and continued to cry, his tears possibly blinding him. "i'm being torn apart. i want to be free of this pain." he sobbed out and you hugged him tightly, on your toes and arms around his neck, holding him close to you.

he gripped onto your shirt as you held him in your arms, tears pouring onto your shirt, soaking through and felt it on your skin. "you can't die.." he whispered and you nodded, holding yourself together for him. "i won't. you won't lose me." you mumbled, and knew that wasn't even a possibility. you'd die for him, instead. and if he ever used his life force to save you, you'd be the one to never forgive yourself.

he was a empathetic and sympathetic person, and had much love in his heart for you. he was scared of being alone without you, because for nearly a year, you're all he's ever had and the person who truly cared for him.

losing you would wreck him and he wouldn't know what to do anymore. he wouldn't know what to feel. he would become numb. he wouldn't feel anymore.

you're the only reason why he does.