temptation | kylo ren.

chapter fifteen.

your eyes fluttered opened and didn't realize you and kylo had fallen asleep outside, the blanket still covering you both. your head was on his chest, hearing his heartbeat loud and clear. you poked his cheek multiple times until he woke up, groaning from the sunlight.

"we fell asleep. we should head back." you told him and he nodded, yawning. you carefully got up, brushing off all the dirt that was on you and stretched. trying to help kylo up, you immediately tripped over a tree root and landed on top of him, causing him to groan. you pouted, noticing your hand had fallen onto kylo's bulge.

"oh shit, sorry!" you panicked and tried to get back up, but he yanked you back down to him, smirking. "did you do that on purpose?" he asked and you scoffed, rolling your eyes. "totally, ky. dumbass, no i didn't." you mumbled and stared into his eyes, getting distracted in them.

you ignored how stupid he was being and just decided to lay next to him, looking at the sky. birds would pass by, yet there was rarely any of them. the forest was quite, a perfect place for thoughts to run free from the mind. it was the same forest where you and kylo got married. the sun was shining, giving the universe its all. the clouds were small and fluffy, like you could almost touch them.

there was that common silence and the only sound that was made was the wind, breathing and loud heartbeats. "do you think we will survive all this? the ordeal? do you think we will make it through all this?" kylo asked and you shrugged, hands resting on your stomach. you were tired of surviving. that's all what life was. surviving. you hated the fact that everyone's purpose in the universe was just to survive and live on. even if you weren't a jedi or sith, you still had to survive. it was sad.

"maybe life should be about more than just surviving." you said and sighed contently, side eyeing him. he was staring at you again, even when you didn't notice. "is that why you're fighting the ordeal on your own?" he questioned and your eyes widened, sitting up quickly.

"what did you just say?"

"when hearing your thoughts, i can piece everything together, and you're still not the best liar."

you swallowed thickly, trying to put together the right words to explain to him. "i'm not mad at you, darling. but why hide it from me?" he asked, sitting up as well and stared into your eyes, feeling your own start to fill with tears.

"padmé, anakin. they warned me. they told me i had to keep you out of this, and it was for the safety of you. i had everything planned already. you were going to take over the risen if i died, and would be alerted about my death right away. it was suppose to be me against the ordeal. i'm sorry." you explained and your tone was sincere, but your voice was shaky.

"do you really think you're going to die?"

"i don't know. but if i do, you would have to be on your own."

he thought to himself for a few minutes, eyes turning away from yours and sighed. "i'm not letting you go through this alone. you know that." he said and you rubbed your temple, shaking your head. "no, no. you're staying out of this. i can handle them." you told him and he scoffed, standing up. he grabbed the blanket and started heading back towards the base, with you trailing behind him.

"kylo, i can't lose you! you deserve to live more than i do!"

he stopped in his steps and turned to look at you, tilting his head. "and i can't lose you. losing you is like losing every single thing in this whole universe. i'm not going to lose you, not again and not ever. i'm helping you with the ordeal." he said and a tear rolled down your cheek, feeling hopeless.

"you don't need to help me, i'll be okay. please, save yourself." you pleaded and you both stood in place, staring into each other's eyes for something to say.

"i don't deserve to live. after all the horrible things i've done, especially killing my dad, i don't deserve to. you're the only reason why i've decided to continue breathing." his voice cracked as he spoke, tears in his eyes. you cupped his cheeks and he broke down into cries, hugging you tightly.

his hold around you was strong. he didn't want to let you go. he cried into your shoulder, his tears staining your shirt, though you didn't mind it. "ben.." you whispered softly and he sobbed more, hard for him to catch his breath.

"please don't leave me. i've lost everything." he sobbed out and your heart ached, a sharp pain striking it. you knew you couldn't do this alone. you knew you had to win. "i'm not kylo ren.."

"you're right. you're not. you're a man. you're a survivor and a fighter. you're a good person, with a heart that needs healing still, and i'll help you."

he pulled back and sniffled, your thumbs wiping away his tears. "i know what i have to do but i don't know if i have the strength to do it." he said and you nodded, grabbing his hand. "please help me.."

you kissed his cheek and smiled small, using your sleeve to clean up the rest of his tears. he held your hand tightly and directed you both to somewhere else. you didn't question, but it seemed important since he was dragging you along with him.

you both climbed up few rocky steps that were stone and you were by his side on the near edge of it. waves crashed and he let go of your hand, grabbing something. his lightsaber.

"do you want to be good?" he asked and you nodded, staring at his face while his attention was on the ocean. "get your saber." he ordered and you did, holding onto it.

"is it possible to be good while being a palpatine?" you questioned and he nodded too, examining the weapon of his. "this is saying goodbye to kylo ren. forever." he mumbled and tossed his lightsaber into the water, watching it disappear under it.

you smiled at him finally accepting everything and tossed yours too, chuckling.

"goodbye, empress palpatine."