once upon a love x j.t. x h.s.

you and me

I thought you guys deserve this :)

This chapter is before Jade and Harry broke up (aka the chapter she decided to dump him).

This is a very short one, I just wanted to convey Jade's feelings and emotions through this chapter.

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3rd March 2020

I glared at the piece of paper I had just received from the doctor. Different emotions consumed my body. The printed word seems to be mocking me, taunting me. God, what am I supposed to do? 

Positive.

That's what's written on the official document.

Four weeks.

My right hand unconsciously went down to my flat stomach and caressed it slightly.

Congratulations Miss Thirlwall. You're pregnant.

This all seems to be a Deja Vu to me. Four years ago, I heard the same words, and now, I'm hearing it for the second time. Nothing's changed from that time. 

Same baby daddy, same conflicted feelings in my heart.

But if there's anything different this time, it will be my decision. If last time I decided to tell Harry, this time I won't. I will not burden him anymore. I will not let myself go through the same thing.

I stepped into the studio where Jesy, Leigh and Perrie are already lounging on the couch, and I realised we were the only one there. This might be a good time to tell. Might as well tell them, I thought.

I took a step closer to the girls, my heart hammering against my chest with each step.

How will they react? Will they be angry at me?

Just a few steps and I'm standing directly in front of them. Then my phone decided to buzz. I looked at my screen and I felt bile rushing to my throat.

 You. You called.

Usually, I'm excited whenever you called. I love talking to you, and I missed your presence so much. But today, I didn't. I felt scared, instead. And so I rejected your call.

"Jade, what did the doctor said?" Leigh-Anne finally noticed me and put away her phone.

"Is it food poisoning?" Jesy asked, now three pair of eyes are focused on me.

Right, food poisoning. That was the excuse I told them when I started to feel unwell. 

I placed my bag on the floor, the envelope held tightly in my grip. Where do I start? Do I just tell them I'm pregnant? God, at this moment, I wish you were around. I need you, Harry.

"Oh no, he said it's not food poisoning," I took a deep breath, "He did tell me to get a lot of rest though."

I stuffed the envelope I was holding into Jesy's hands and the other two girls crouched over as Jesy began to open it. I held my breath, not daring to make a sound. I kept my eyes on my three members, wondering what their reactions will be like. I was expecting disappointed looks and angry faces, but it was the opposite.

They began to congratulate and hug me, and all emotions I bottled up finally burst out and I started bawling. They started fussing over me, consoling me to stop crying and I was glad to have them in my life.

"What are you going to do?" Jesy asked after I've calmed down.

To be fair, I didn't have the answer too.

"I don't know. I don't think I'm telling him." Leigh and Perrie gasped. "I don't want to go through the same thing." I scoffed. "It's stupid, isn't it? You would think that after going through an accidental pregnancy years ago we will be more careful, but look at where I am now."

"Baba, it's meant to be, that's why it happened," Perrie said.

"I think Harry deserved to know Jade. He's changed, he's not like before," Leigh-Anne took Harry's side and I know she's saying the truth.

But the truth is, I'm not afraid of Harry walking out of my life. I'm even more afraid of him taking responsibility. What if he decides in the future that we are holding him back? What if he hates us for that?

"I can't, I can't tell him," I let out a weak sob. "I don't want him to burdened by me. He has a successful career and a bright future waiting for him. I won't hold him back," I promised. My voice cracked and I'm not sure I can do this too.

"Baby," Leigh tried to change my mind. I won't, I won't let myself be hurt again.

"Whatever you do, know that we're behind you," Jesy said and pulled me into a hug.

Five days.

That's how long I took to make up my mind. It's funny, isn't it? I just told him that I love him just a month ago, and now I'm giving up on us. I didn't even give you a chance to make it right. I didn't give us a chance. 

My finger hovered over the small arrow. Once I sent this, there's no going back. Determinedly, I pressed it. There's no looking back. I glanced at the text I had just sent.

Let's break up.

I'm sorry Harry, I love you so ardently. I love so much that I'm letting go of you. 

My thoughts went back to mine and Niall's conversation.

Loving someone means to let go of them, as long as they are happy.

I'm sacrificing mine for you, so please let go of me too.

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Okay, this chapter is not needed but I wanted you guys to understand where Jade's decision is coming from. And I also wanted to point out the difference between Jade and Harry and how they view love is.

Last night was a hard night for me, I don't know what happened but I started overthinking again. I was on the verge of relapsing but I'm lucky my friend stopped me in time. Then I read all of your comments and it lifted my mood a lot. So thank you for all of your comments and votes. :)