Perfectly Imperfect

10

Joshua's POV

I sighed walking towards my house. I walked in passing my parents and headed to my room. Looking through my window, I can see that she was sleeping in the same clothes she wore at school. I sighed as I felt incredibly guilty for what I said to her. I looked at the tiny bag of cocaine in my hand and sat on my bed. Joshua you need to give this up and let yourself be open, I know it hurts but it's going to be fine I convinced myself and I went to the bathroom and threw the bag in the toilet and flushed it.

I went back downstairs to speak to both of my parents about everything that happened and why I am the way I am now. I reached the kitchen only to see her and my dad laughing until they saw me and looked at me concerned. I sighed and took a deep breathe...

"Can we talk?" I asked them and they nodded so I took a deep breathe.

"Dad when you got sick, I started doing drugs actually I did cocaine and before you get angry and stress yourself just let me explain" I said and he gave me his full attention as for my mom she sighed.

"I know you guys took me in when I was a baby and I know that my parents died, I blamed myself for them dying and when you got sick, Dad I felt like I was the reason why you got that way, so I stepped up worked all summer and I never stopped working because I wanted to help you and mom as I felt guilty, it got hectic after while managing school and work so I smoked weed and then weed turned into cocaine I wanted to stop but I couldn't. Mom even made me stop after she begged me but I couldn't and the only person I had really confide in was my girlfriend who knew almost everything but she didn't care" I chocked on the tears and they started crying as well.

"I couldn't love her anymore or trust her and I needed someone to talk to and my friends knew about you being sick and about my parents but I hid about doing drugs, I tried my best to believe I wasn't the problem but my mind said something different, I got beat up because I owed some guys money for cocaine and that's when a girl saved me, a girl who was nothing but strong but I ruined it by telling her harsh things today and I realize how fucked up I am and I want to change, I want to be the son you guys will be proud of"I sniffed and they immediately came to hug me.

"Oh baby, we are proud of you and nothing was your fault your parents loved you and we do as well more than can you imagine and we're sorry if we gave you the impression that you did" Mom kissed my cheek.

"I am disappointed in you for the drugs but I am more proud that you made the decision to talk to us and that right there my son is courage, maturity and what more can a father want, son your my everything and never ever think that it was your fault because you saved me by being in my life" My dad squeezed me tight and I cried.

"We love you and guess what your already changing by coming to us" he said and I nodded.

"We also have to tell you good news" Mom smiled through the tears and I was confused.

"Your dad has been cleared from the doctors" Mom said excited and I looked at my dad as he smiled.

"So your okay for good?" I asked him and he nodded yes and I cried.

We group hugged and I smiled really hard as my family was getting back to being ourselves but I started to feel guilty again. I really hurt Ramona today especially when she needed me most and Damien basically did the same thing to her. I am so stupid, she is the reason why I wanted to change in the first place but I knew it's going to take some time.

"What do I do about the girl I hurt?" I asked remembering Mona.

"Work it out even if you can't right now son just focus on getting better okay" Dad said and I nodded.

I went to my room and laid on my bed and took out my phone only to see Belle posting a picture of her and a guy who turned out to be Damien so I immediately messaged Aaron because I know he probably is awake.

I locked off my phone and tried to figure out the connection between Belle and Damien. Every scenario doesn't make sense because that would mean they knew each other for years but he just moved here. " I saw a brown haired girl laying on the bed in his room but I couldn't see her face as I was in tears' the words from Ramona replayed and I remembered Belle saying she is going to visit her cousin at a boarding school which means holy shit.

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