The Ways of Patching Up | ✓

Fifth

Elliot instinctively squinted his eyes as the warm radiating rays from the sun kissed his face. As soon as he stepped outside, the freezing air quickly pierced his small body like tiny needles, but thanks to his thick layer of clothes, he was able to withstand the cold. He let out a sigh, seeing some sort of smoke coming out of his lips. Elliot immediately knew that it was his breath as he used to read about it somewhere.

From the morning, the child noticed that the piles of snow had thickened compared to the day before, and it had covered the front yard entirely. The roads were slippery and moist, but they were instantly cleared off snow by some workers to make way for cars. He watched as some of his neighbors shovelled some snow out of their driveways.

When Elliot was getting ready for school, he had spotted Dad from the windows clearing his car from the snow as well as the driveway. At the sight of him, the boy felt his heart getting heavy, especially when he remembered the scenes that happened yesterday. Even from up here, he could see the deep sadness looming over his father, and it really pained him inside.

Dad...

Breakfast was the same as days before. Dad would just eat one piece of plain bread and nothing more. Heck, he only ate half of the food and discarded the remains. Elliot had been advising him to eat more, but he had refused and claimed that he was fine. The child then decided not to say a word, because he knew that he just wouldn't listen. However... if I continue being quiet like this... Dad will just get worse and worse... I feel like I don't care about him when actually I do.

"Come on Elliot. You'll be late for school if you're just standing there," Dad snapped Elliot out of his daze, and then beckoned his son to just get inside the car. The boy shook his head to clear off his thoughts and silently obeyed his father. Gripping on his bag straps, Elliot opened the passenger door and hopped in.

As the car roared into life, Elliot peered towards his father, who rubbed his eyes before he put on his thin glasses. Of course, Dad wouldn't get much sleep because he probably had been working with his papers all night long. He didn't even know what happened to the lab things Dad had broken last night.

The way to school was dead silent as usual, but Elliot often found himself observing Dad, who was messily dressed in his work uniform. His tie wasn't knotted in a proper way, and his clothes were wrinkled everywhere. He was also constantly brushing his face and running his hand through his ruffled hair, seemingly fixing his appearance. All of his actions made Elliot uncomfortable and on the edge of his seat, and he ultimately forced himself to say something.

"Dad, are-"

"I'm fine, Elliot," Dad groaned even before the child could say anything, "worry more about your school work than me."

How can I worry about my school work when you have been acting weird? Elliot really wanted to say this out, but in the end, he kept it inside. He knew that Dad would instantly get angry and think that he was talking back even when he was actually voicing out his concerns.

After some time, school eventually came into view. From the side window, Elliot quietly watched as people dropped their kids in front of the entrance, with him recognizing some of them from his class. Some of the parents took a long time because they went out of their respective car to talk to their children. A few even got a kiss on their forehead before they finally left them to go inside the building.

Dad used to be like that all the time and even embarrassed him in front of his friends, but now... there wasn't any exchange of words, let alone a kiss. He would just bid farewell to Dad and that was it. Elliot let out a silent sigh when it was ultimately his turn to get out of the car.

"Bye Dad," Elliot forced a smile as he slightly waved his hand at Dad, who simply twitched a corner of his lips. Of course... 

The child gently opened the door before jumping out of the car. After he slammed it shut, he adjusted the scarf on his neck before he started walking towards the entrance of the school. Wet snow crunched underneath his boots as he made his way inside. 

Maybe... I should ask someone for help. I can't just let Dad be in this way forever. Elliot proposed inwardly. Who should I ask though... maybe Mr. Zheng? But... he has a lot of things to do too, so... who else?

Meanwhile, Lawson watched from his car as his son entered the school. He then lowered his head as he placed both of his arms in the steering wheel. Last night, he wasted all of his energy on the research paper his boss had been asking him for. The sleep deprivation almost got into him, but fortunately it paid off. Regardless, this didn't mean he was liberated from his work; there were still more papers to catch up and experiments to do.

His manager even dumped him with more work to do, even though he had requested that he needed more time. The deadlines of the projects were tight and must be submitted right on time. This meant that there was no time where he could relax and be free, which accumulated more stress inside of him. He had lost his wife, his dignity, his reputation and right now, he was losing his sanity.

This is too much...

I can't take this anymore...

Lawson's eyes itched as he could feel something moist seeping out. He coughed as quiet sobs escaped from his throat. He couldn't hold those feelings back anymore, so he decided to let all of them out. Besides, no one was watching him as he broke down.

I fucking worked my ass off... only to go through this shit.

Am I not good enough for her...?