BTS 2: Behind those Smiles

Chapter 48: Bouquet of Flowers

Athena POV.

Andito ako ngayon sa tapat ng Queen Bitch Bar. I want to get drunk para gumaan ang pakiramdam ko. Nanginginig pa rin talaga ang labi ko sa sinabi ko kanina kay Chriss. Naalala ko na naman ang lahat ng 'yon. Yung mga sakit na pinaramdam niya sa akin tila bumalik lahat. I thought I am already okay ... I thought I already moved on ... pero hindi pa pala. Akala ko manhid na ako sa sakit pero maling akala ko lang pala 'yon! I was too believe na kapag nakaharap ko siya, wala na akong mararamdaman pa.

Huminga ako ng malalim. Ang bigat-bigat ng pakiramdam ko. Bukod sa mahapdi na ang mga mata ko kakaiyak, ang hapdi rin ng puso ko. I don't know why I feel this. Inayos ko muna ang sarili ko at kinuha ang pouch ko and my car key. Lumabas na ako ng kotse.

I went inside the bar ... alone. Yes, alone. Ayoko muna mang abala ng kaibigan muna. I know that they are always there whenever I need them, and I know that they are only one call away but now? I just want to be alone. Gusto ko muna mapag-isa at makapag-isip.

Dumeretso ako sa counter.

"Hard drinks," sabi ko sa bartender.

Binigay niya naman sa akin ang order ko and I started to take a sip on it. Napa-ngiwi na lang ako sa sobrang pait ng alak na iniinom ko. Parang may dumaloy na apoy sa lalamunan ko. I don't usually take hard drinks when I am alone. Most of the time, I only drink it when I am with Rain.

Speaking of, what I told to Chriss a while ago is a lie. There's nothing between me and Rain. We are pure friends but not more than that. He is always there with me when I am alone, when I need him, when I need his presence and when my son asked him. He is with me all the time but there's really nothing between us. I know how much he loves me as a woman but he also knows his limitation and my feelings towards him ... that he is only a friend --a special friend who is close to my heart.

Naramdaman ko naman na nag vibrate ang phone ko. Kinuha ko 'yon sa pouch. Rain is calling me. Sinagot ko naman agad 'yon.

"Rain"

"Where are y--wait, damn it! Are you in the bar?"

Likas na talaga sa kanya ang mag-aalala sa akin.

"Yes and please watch your words. Baka marinig ka ni Tino," sagot ko over the phone.

He is in our mansion right now. He wanted to make sure that both Tino and I are safe. Para tuloy siyang body guard namin ni Tino. I did not tell him to do that but he still insist.

"Sorry. But hey, tell me the name of the bar and I'll fetch you."

Huminga ako ng malalim.

"No. No need. Pauwi na rin ako. Don't worry," sabi ko.

Inubos ko na agad ang konting alak na nasa baso ko.

"Are you sure? Can you still drive? Alam kong uminom ka, Athena."

Sermon niya sa akin. Him, being like this is normal. Normal na lang sa kanya ang mag-aalala sa akin at nasanay na ako don.

"I can still drive. Don't worry hindi naman ako lasing. I'll hung up now and go home."

I heard him sigh.

"Alright. Please drive carefully. I'll wait you here."

He said at pinutol na ang tawag. Naglabas ako ng bill sa pouch ko at iniwan sa counter. I went outside the bar at dumeretso na ako sa sasakyan ko.