Why him?!

Bullies

            JOSEPH'S  P.O.V

        I wake up to my mother knocking on the door.

"Sweetie get ready for school! You're going to be late!" she says.

I just groan loudly so she knows i heard her.

I get up and take a quick shower.

I get dressed, making sure not to forget a jacket.

I head down stairs, eat what my mom had cooked, run back upstairs, brush my teeth and brush my hair and I run downstairs AGAIN to wait for Austin.

He comes down after a few minutes and grabs his keys,slips on his shoes and heads out side.

I slip my shoes on and follow. I sit in the passenger seat. He starts the car and we drive 

The drive was basically silent, unless you count me and Austin commenting on people's cars and clothes-in a good way though.

We get to school and he hops out and opens the door for me. I fake blush and step out.

"See ya around kiddo" he says.

He pats my arm and runs into the big hell hole we call school. I slowly walk in, hoping not to be seen by-

"Yo Joe hoe !? Trying to get away from me huh?!"

Shit.

I stop walking and feel my heartbeat increase as Chase walks closer and closer to me. He turns me around pushes me into a locker.

"Chase quit! Its only Monday an I haven't even done anything. Just leave me the hell alone!"I say beginning to walk away.

He grabs my arm and punches me in the chest. I stumble back a bit.

"What faggot? Don't like being touched by males? Shocker!! How bout' you do us all a favor and go kill yourself. I doubt any body will notice. Fucking fags shouldn't be on this earth, they are just a waste of space. And why not start the week off with a dead gay because then I wont see him all week! " he says laughing.

He turns to face me, noticing I haven't moved.

"Did you not hear me," he gets in my face and whispers, "Go die in a fucking hole you worthless piece of shit. You're just a waste of space on this earth! Cant imagine how your mom feels raising the spawn of satan." he says and pats my cheek, walking away laughing with his group .

People who were watching are either laughing and nodding or calling/texting somebody about it.

I try to hold in tears and quickly walk to the bathroom. I go into the last stall and pull out a tile from the wall. I grab my blade and sit in the corner, crying.

waste of space

His words still ringing in my head

Go die in a fucking hole you piece of shit

do us all a favor and kill yourself.

I doubt anyone would notice.

Those words hurt me the most.

Maybe I am a waste of space, maybe nobody will care.

And Austin doesn't get it.

He only said all that because he's my brother. He doesn't understand how hard this all actually is for me to grasp.

I start to feel that tingle in my wrist and finger tips- and I sadly give in.

Is god even real? Does he see how much pain I'm in?