I'd give you a life

sometimes it's ok to cry.

i wait in the hospital for my check up. My heart thumps and I start to yawn. I hate hospitals. Kind of a problem when I spend quite a lot of time there nowadays. Beside me, a little girl with a bald head is playing with a Barbie on the garish plastic seats. I wonder if she knows she might die?

"Grace Adams?" I look up, the doctor is hovering in the doorway, already bearing a clipboard and a fake smile. I stand up, Dan tries to follow but I go alone. This check up is to take some blood to check if the cancer has spread. The room is white with the metallic tang of disinfectant and the gentle hum of electricity. They take a blood test and ask how I feel. I stare at them. How do they think I feel? My whole body aches, my friends have ditched me. My life is falling apart and there's nothing I can do.

"I'm ok." It's standard, it seems that that's all I ever say nowadays. However I still find it hard to hold back the tears that blur my vision and grip my throat. Why me?

"It's ok Grace, sometimes it's ok to cry." The doctor offers me firm and gentle kindness before running through the final procedures of the check up. She smiles at the end, waves a hand at the door. I run off gladly, I've had enough of hospitals.

I tell Dan that I want to walk home, he puts up an argument for about two minutes, then gives in. I walk home through the deserted streets. A cold wind blows through my hair. It's only when I see that there's nobody around that I let the tears come.

"Grace? Grace Adams?!" I whip around, wiping tears off my face. A boy from my class is standing next to me. Harry. He has ginger hair falling over his face in a messy fringe, and glasses. Embarrassed, I turn away.

"Grace! It's ok, I know what your going through." He looks at me, trying to get my attention.

"No you don't! You've no idea what I'm going through! I used to be cool, perfect. Now I'm a loser. Like you!" I stop, stunned. He shakes his head.

"Grace my mum died of cancer three years ago. So actually I do sort of know what your going through." I stop, his words have hindered me speechless.

"I'm sorry Harry." I say quietly. "I had no idea. I feel awful, it's just your the only person who notices me now." Again he shakes his head, then he looks up at me and said,

"I've always noticed you Grace, you just never cared." As he says that I realise that we've reached my house. He looks at me sadly, then turns and walks away.

To be continued....