[OLD] God or Goddess? (Lady Loki Oneshots)

Code Slytherin

May 4 2020
Sorry for not existing for a month. Whoops.
Just hit a lot of writers block. Hopefully it won't stick.

I'm also planning on making an animatic instead of writing one of the chapters (the content remains hidden for now) ;)

'There's a giant fucking purple lizard stomping through the downtown area' is not a sentence you think you'd hear everyday. In most cases you wouldn't. But here the Avengers were, stuck in that exact situation.

"Why am I even surprised," was Clint's reaction to the news.

So far, so terrible. This thing, a Locuaa according to Loki and Thor, was not cooperating. Some weird blue goop was flying everywhere, Tony got an arm of his suit ripped off, and the Locuaa seemed insistent that the appendage was it's new chew toy.

Loki, meanwhile, was sitting in the compound with a bowl of popcorn, watching her teammates being absolute idiots on the television.

There was a system- much like the Hulk's- where, if Loki was needed, there would be a code word. Upon Tony's insistence, and Loki's dismay, it was titled "Code Slytherin."

For now, however, the code remained unsaid, and Loki remained eating her popcorn and shaking her head.

"Thor what do you know about this thing?" Steve asked, dodging another blast of goop.

"I'm afraid I know very little, nothing you aren't already aware of." Thor blocked it's path with a blast of lightning, only seeming to agitate it more.

"Perhaps you should have paid more attention during our lessons," Loki snarked from over the comms.

"Well then perhaps you should come down here and teach us," Thor countered.

Clint dodged the creature's tail, firing another arrow. "Can't we just get the Hulk?"

"No can do, Legolas," Tony said. "It's in the middle of the city. We can't risk it. No offense Brucie."

"None taken," Bruce replied, grabbing a few pieces of popcorn from Loki's bowl. He nearly dropped them as Loki shouted.

"Oh for the Norns' sake!" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "What are you- Thor- ugh!"

"You know, you could just give us instructions on what to do," Natasha said in a 'duh' sort of tone.

"I'm afraid it wouldn't work, Agent Romanoff," Loki replied. "You've all become its target. It is far too annoyed with the lot of you and I find myself agreeing with it."

The creature had lost most of its interest in the slob-covered Iron Man arm and was now interested in the rest of the suit. Loki felt some of her annoyance dissipate as she watched Tony being chased around with glee.

"For God's sake, Code Slytherin! Code Slytherin," he yelled, desperately trying to avoid the lizard's mouth with only three blasters.

"Finally!" She stood and immediately disappeared, leaving Bruce to fumble with the nearly-spilt popcorn bowl.

She appeared in front of the Locuaa, standing on a translucent disk floating in its line of sight. It skid to a stop, ripping a few chunks of the concrete.

"Easy," she said, careful but commanding. The creature made a gurgling/growling sound at her, attempting to move.

Loki sent a small yet bright wave of seidr, blowing the creature back. "Easy!" she commanded again. "Easy..." She floated just close enough to reach its nose. As she placed a hand on it, the growling stopped, replaced with a lighter gurgling (purring?).

"That's it." Her hand stroked its nose, then backed up pointing to the ground. "Now drop it." The lizard made an unhappy sound. "I said, drop it!"

The arm of Tony's suit hit the ground, covered in goop.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me..." Clint commented.

Loki returned to scratching the creature's snout. "That's a good girl!" she praised. "You're lost, aren't you? New place, new people, you're just scared of these meanies aren't you?"

"Excuse me?!" Tony shouted, but was ignored.

"But you're a good girl on the inside, aren't you?" The lizard dared to snuggle against her, making more happy sounds. It covered Loki in blue goop as it licked her, nearly knocking her over. A few of the others chuckled despite Loki's glares.

She rolled her eyes and made her way down down the Locuaa's neck. Hitting some sort of pressure point, the lizard began to shrink down, eventually matching the size of a lion.

Far less dangerous, and far less angry, the lizard was given the stem of some large thick plant to chew on as Loki magicked away the goop.

Suffice it to say, despite her cold exterior, Loki was very much an animal person. It's also fair to say that the lizard did not want to return home without her.

(If Loki had it her way, it never would have left.)

Was hoping to write more Frozen AU stuff. Any ideas?