Trigger Warning: If you're uncomfortable without feelings associated with dysphoria, and mild anxiety attacks, this may not be the chapter for you.
Also, tooth-rotting fluff and motherly sweetness. You have been warned.
It was a simple domestic morning for the Avengers. JARVIS had called everyone down for breakfast, but Peter had failed to make an appearance.
Loki made her way to Peter's room, via Tony's request, knocking quietly on the door. This time, however, he wasn't there to greet her with a sleepy smile, inquiring on what was for breakfast that morning. She was instead met with silence.
She gently opened the door to find the boy in front of his mirror. He furiously
tugged at the helm of his shirt and hair. His movements were full of frustration and panic.Loki slowly stepped into the room, clicking the door shut as quietly as possible, but Peter caught it anyway. He spun around, his wide, chocolate eyes much like those of a deer in headlights. He crossed his arms and stuttered, "L-Lo, what are you doing here?"
"Breakfast is almost ready," she answered simply. A small gasp exited Peter's lips as his eyes darted to the clock on his desk.
"S-sorry. Um, I-I'll just be a few minutes." He placed himself on the bed, his movements ridged with emotion, his gaze was low. Neither were changed or affected by Loki's new weight next to him. His hands were on his knees, bunching up his pyjama pants in his fists.
"What's wrong?"
Peter's fists tightened and shook, his knuckles turning white. Even as the tear welled up in his eyes, he insisted, "I-It's nothing."
Her sense went off, if it wasn't obvious enough. "I can tell when you're lying, Peter."
"J-just.... one of th-those days," his voice barley escaped his closed throat, as if he would burst if he spoke any louder. Loki let out a sigh. But it was not one of anger or disappointment, more exhaustion and understanding.
Peter rubbed at his chest with one hand, as if there were bugs crawling on him, or much like the aftermath of walking through a spiderweb. Tears poured freely from his eyes, landing on the white knuckles of the remaining hand. He shook violently with heavy breaths.
While Loki was not really much for contact, she knew it could be what he needed. Very slowly and gently, she placed a hand on his knee. She knew full well what was going on, it was a memory ingrained in her brain, it was the thing that brought them so close together in the first place. But, unlike she got to, she knew it would be better if he got to speak about it. "Tell me."
Peter let out a sob as he rested his head on Loki's chest. His tears begin to leave little dark stains on the fabric. "I just... f-feel like a fake," he sniffed.
"Why do you feel that way?"
"I'm just... I'm-I'm not-" another sob and a hiccup interrupted him. Peter took a deep, yet shaky, breath. "I'm not like you guys. L-Like Mr. S-Stark and... I just- I wanna be normal. Wh-When they look at me.." The end of his sentence was broken by another sob. "I can't h-help but feel like- like.. like they're a-all-" he broke into sobs once again.
It was easy to fill in the blank. Disgusted. Revolted. Disappointed. Despite her own thoughts, beliefs, insecurities, it almost tore Loki apart to see the similarities in this boy and her own self. Worst off all is that he didn't deserve any of it.
Peter was her peak into the lives she had affected. He was the bridge into giving others a chance, whether she realized it or not. Regardless, she was fully aware of the trap she had fallen into; this boy meant much to her and there was nothing she could do about it.
She allowed Peter to let all of his emotions out, before quietly saying, "Proud of you?" You could sense the wave of confusion, even through Peter's tears.
It was scary to admit such a thing but... "Peter Benjamin Parker, you are incredible. You never asked for this life, yet you've taken it and made it yours. You are someone who will run to help others with no expected rewards. You're willing to reach out to others, and learn from your mistakes. You wake up every morning and hate the body you were born in. Most of all, you are able to do this while living the life of a Midgardian teenager, which from you incessant complaining is no doubt difficult."
A very small, choked up chuckle escaped Peters lips. "Knowing all of this, it is a fact that Anthony is proud of you. The others are proud of you, even if they are unaware..."
She took a small pause, meeting Peter's wide, chocolate eyes. "I am proud of you. And if anyone says otherwise, or the others give you a hard time.. I'll give them a visit from Sir Stabbington II."
Peter let out a few more chuckles, sniffing loudly and wiping his eyes, "Sh-shut up!" He playfully hit Loki in the chest with fake resistance.
Loki put a hand to Peters red, swelled up cheek, and a smooth feeling passed over it. Her magic, cleaning up his face temporarily for the upcoming social interaction. "Thanks," Peter said.
Slowly, she placed a short kiss on the boys forehead, then ruffled Peter's already messy hair. The bed shifted greatly when she stood, then moved to open the door. "By the way, breakfast is ready."
With that, the door closed, and Loki made her way back to breakfast, her worldview crumbling like Peter's awaiting blueberry muffin.
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