Michaeng-I Don't Deserve You

He again.

Chaeyoungs pov.

With everything I keed to take with me, I now get out of the door, leaving the hotel as fast as I can. I have to see her. I can't continue life without her on my side. Right now I'm just staying beside the road, waiting for a cab I could take to the airport. When I saw one, I immediately gabe him a signal, showing him, that I need to get some where.

For my luck he stops and I waste no time getting inside the cab and telling him where I have to go. He drives off and the only thing I can do is to think. To think about her. It's crazy...It's crazy that loving someone can drive you so mad. Can make you forget about everything else. Can make you forget about yourself.

While thinking about those things, one thing always crosses my mind. Does she even love me the way I love her? I mean it's not like I don't believe jer words. I would never describe her as a liar, really not. Don't get me wrong. I did believe her when she said, she loved me. The thing is...she just...left. It's like she just lost hope in us withing one second. We went through so much and it's just...it's sad that she just left me in such a situation without even speaking me first. That's just simply not the Mina, that I thought existed.

,,We're at the airport now mrs."

A caln voice suddenly interrupted my heavy thoughts and I opened the door. Not too fast, but not too slowly either. I got more uncertain about trying to get Chaeyoung back from second to second. The longer I thought, the more unsure I became. I do love her. I love her more than anything else in the world. It's just...I don't want to put her under pressure. I don't want her to love me because of me. I want her to love me, because of herself.

I walk...not stopping my thoughts about her. I walk and walk, finally getting on the plane. In a bit I'll be back. I'll be able to see her. To be with her. I try pushing the heavy thoughts away, making more space for the good memories. For even more giod possible memories.

Now sitting on my chair, I close my eyes, trying to get an empty mind. Or to be more precise, trying to get my mind empty from her. I lean back and wait, only to be greeted by the voice from the pilote, saying that we arrived Seoul. I get more nervous from second to second if even possible.

Getting rid of my thoughts, I now leave tge airport and take a cab to my house, leaving all my things there except my camera and the stick. I kept it on my side as if my life depended on it. In fact...it did. She is my life. I've always wanted to be independent...I have always been, but after she came into my life, it feels like she became it.

I went into my car, trying not to think of anything. I needed an empty mind, because if I would now retreat, I know that my life would end up miserable. I drive, getting nearer to her house from second to second. Barely noticing it, I now arrived at her house, stepping out of her house with shaking legs and hands. But no matter what happened now, I don't care anymore. I wemt thrpigh so much this last days...I can't just give up. At least not without knowing if she still loved me.

I now walk to the frontdoors direction, ringing the bel and taking a few steps back afterwards, not wanting to appear rude or something. I wait a few seconds... seconds which felt like minutes, like hours, even like days. Suddenly the door was opened and I was greeted by a beautiful women with such a gummy smile as her daughter. She reminded me so much of her...her questioning look, which still seemed so fucking kind. Fucking. That's kinda funny isn't it? If this woman only knew, that I was fucking her daughter literally every night while she was away. My not so decent thoughts were suddenly interrupted when the short haired woman spoke.

,,Hello my dear, do I know you?"

I blinked a few times, out of surpriseness that even her way to talk resembled her daughter so much.

,,Oh umm hello you must be mrs Myoui. I came to see your daughter, she's a good friend of mine. Is she maybe umm...here?"

,,Oh yeah she is upstairs right now...but she has a guest right now just so you know."

She said, holding the door open and giving me a sign, that I'm allowed to get inside. I was a bit shocked about the fact, that Mina had a guest right now, but I just ignored it, since I thought, that it may just be one of the girls...maybe Sana or someone.

,,Just go upstairs, her rooms on the left."

I just nod and give her a smile, showing her my dimples, knowing that that's the weakness of every parent. I wanted to appear really nice, since that was the mother of Mina and I just really hope it worked.

I then walk upstairs, trying to find a hold on the railing, because of the pain in my right leg, from the fight with Seulgi. I kind of regret the fact, that I didn't put on any make up before coming here. My face is full of bruises and I really don't want to worry her. And also I look like shit eith all these bruises. I was so nervous I can't even describe how I felt right now. When I turn left, I see that the door of her room was already wide open. I walk along the floor, still limping because of my leg. I finally take a step in, still only looking at the camera in my hand.

I look up, searching for the eyes I've missed since the last time I saw them. I do that only to now be greeted by the sight of my brother and her kissing.

I drop my camera, letting the sudden crash wake their attention.

Our eyes meet.

And right when I see that pitiful look of her.

I run.

,,Sorry, that this update might took a bit long, but I'll try updating a bit faster again the next time. Hope you like it. Thanks for your patience.

~Manolya