Michaeng-I Don't Deserve You

Traumatized.

Minas pov.

Peaceful. That's how I would describe the atmosphere inside the room we're in right now. We were now both sitting on the edge of her bed, Chaeyoung and I, just holding hands and looking in each others eyes. I loved those nights. Always did. It felt like all the things, that crossed my mind just a few minutes ago, left in a matter of seconds. They left once our eyes met...Once I looked into those so innocent-looking eyes.

We both now decided to lay on the bed and right when she was about to say something, I kissed her. As expected she was a bit taken back first, but kissed me back after a few seconds. It was full of passion. It felt like I was dreaming and I never ever wanted to wake up again. It was perfect the way it was right now. I now groped her breast, making her moan and that's when I knew this was my chance, so I slipped my tongue inside her mouth, trying to be more dominant this time. I know it might be to early for doing this already, but I can't resist. As much as I'd try to, I couldn't. She's like a drug. I'm addicted.

I now went on top of her, taking off my oversized shirt meanwhile. I instantly noticed how her eyes were glued to my naked upper body, which made the tension inside the room grew double its size. She probably didn't expect me to be completely naked under the shirt.

,,Fuck..."

I heard her whispering and right when she was about to flip us oover, so that she was on top of me, I put my index finger on her lips, making her groan.

,,Shh...let me lead this time..."

She then put her hand on my cheek, caressing it, while I took her hand and sucked on her two fingers, knowing that she used to love this back then. When I heard her moaning, I knew that I was right and so I took her shirt together with her bra off afterwards. I loved that sight and even though her boobs were kind of petite, I still enjoyed the sight of them more than anything else. They were just perfect for me. Anything aboout her was perfect in fact.

I groped her right breast and gave her one last peck on the nose, before kissing my was downwards, to one of the places I loved most. When my mouth reached her stomach and I slowly took off her short, I heard her gasp a bit, but I just ignored it since I thought it was because she enjoyed the moment.

Her breathing got heavier when I started kissing her thigh one and right when I was about to now take of her panties she suddenly pushed me away, begging me to stop while doing so. I kind of thought, that I might have done something wrong at first, but when I looked at her now wet eyes. It seemed like she was about to cry and it worried me. It worried me a lot.

,,Why did you even come back? Why didn't you just leave me there? You could have just let me died, it would have been better than this anyway!"

She suddenly screamed, while getting up and punching against the mirror, making it break. Blood flowed down from her now injured hand and she let her tears fall afterwards, sitting on the ground and putting her forehead on top of her knees while doing so. She stayed like that for a bit, trying to hide herself from me. I was about to reach for her hand, but she just ignored it.

,,Just stop it already Mina, I'm a mess just look at me...You don't deserve...this..."

It hurts. It hurts seeing her this broken and not knowing what to do against it. It's true, that when people say seeing your lover hurt is even worse than being hurt yourself, because that's what it feels like. I can't bare looking at her like this and knowing, that I'm one of the reasons why she has to go through this. If I could, I would take all the pain she's feeling right now right away, but I can't...And even though I can't just take away the pain, I could still try to ease the pain...and so I will.

,,And what if you are huh?! What if you're really a mess? Do you really think, that makes me love you less? Do you really think, that just because of this one problen, there isn't any other chance for us? I love you Chaeyoung, you know I do. I love you so, so fuxking much...

I then sat in front of her, taking her face into my hands, making her look at me.

Whatever you're going through right bow, I will go through it together with you. I will be by your side...always and forever. You can try pushing me away as often as you want to, I don't care, but what I care about is you, because I love you. So please just talk to me about what's going on. I want you to know, that whatever it is, it won't ever change the fact, that you're my world."

And with that, she suddenly fell into my arms, hugging me while doing so, letting all the emotions inside her out. I meanwhile caressed her back, trying to calm her down.

,,It's just...ugh...all those flashbacks come back...Seulgi...that old man, that was about to...you know... I can't escape those thoughts...When I close my eyes...those pictures appear and it...scares me...When I'm with you, all those memories just fade away actually, but just now, when you were about to pull down my pantie, that old man suddenly entered my mind again and I got scared, I wish I could just..give you what you want, because I want it as much as you want, ig not even more, but it's just...my thoughts...I'm sorry."

The crying girl said, letting her head rest on the top of the other girls thighs, needing her comfort. The japanese now just stroked the other girls hair and slowly pulled her towards her, making her look at her.

,,I think you might have a traume, because of what happened Chaeyoungie...but whatever it is, it doesn't matter, because we'll overcome it together."

Heyyy wassuppp, so I'm sorry for being so late again, mostly I'm just not able to write, since I'm with my friends most of the time and yeah sry about that. I'll try updating faster again from now on, hope y'all don't hate me. Hope you like the new chapter:)
~Manolya