geed | clairo

one

i'll admit it: i like having sex. but i never understood what exactly everyone else liked about it. i liked the feeling afterwards more, where the girl holds me and messes with my hair and eventually, we flip flop so i can hold her and run my hands through her hair. putting my penis inside of girls is pretty fun but i just didn't find that part as fun as being held. i swear that i was hugged enough as a kid, but i just love being held and being touched, even more when it stopped there, where i wasn't expected to give or receive any sexual favors.

spencer, on the other hand, is pretty much the opposite. we both have sex regularly, but spencer is insatiable. being bisexual seems to widen the range of options but i stopped being surprised at who spencer brought back to his dorm around thanksgiving of our freshman year. his latest slam pieces were joanne forsyth, the biology major from utah who may or may not be mormon, diane kent, the art major who shaved her head before each hookup and gave spencer copies of her zines afterwards and our newly initiated frat brother sam clement, who studies advertising and is apparently a power bottom.

i don't have a regular hookup like spencer does. my side of the dorm room is completely empty, save for my occasional study dates with georgia smith. i let her give me head once after we finished studying for chemistry but i haven't had any sexual contact in any form since then. the only bright side to the matter is that she's an amazing study buddy. the door to my dorm began to open and spencer came in.

"paul, you doing something tonight?" asked spencer, running a hand through his dark brown hair, which hadn't been cut in several months and was becoming shaggy as he closed the door behind him.

"uh, isn't there a party at the house tonight?"

"nah, brady's making the pledges do some bonding exercise or whatever," replied spencer, sitting on his bed and grabbing his phone from his nightstand.

"is it genuine or just education stuff?" brady, the junior pledgemaster, was both hilarious and completely psychotic.

"they're just gonna smoke some joints together or something. hey, you wanna go out tonight? i'm thinking of hitting up robert's with jesse and maybe joanne."

"fuck it, why not?"

"ay, maybe you can fuck some alpha phis with me. i heard their spring pledge class is so fucking hot," said spencer, his breathing becoming slightly hitched.

"georgia told me they all have herpes from sharing the same flask."

"georgia's hot as fuck bro, but she's a fucking hater. mary told me that they gave her a bid but she joined that group that hates men," retorted spencer. georgia was a bit of a sore spot for spencer due to the fact that she was the only girl who ever rejected his advances. to add salt to the wound, she said she even wanted to be his friend and said that if she developed feelings for him, they could start a romantic relationship. all in all, spencer doesn't like girls who like being his friend first and foremost.

"theta phi doesn't hate men."

"it's full of art and sociology majors. they hate men."

"but at least they each have their own flasks. and the best event t-shirts," i argued. spencer rolled his eyes and placed his phone back on his bed. a minute later, a text notification rang through the room. spencer picked it up and a grin formed on his face the longer he stared at his phone.

"jesse offered to be dd tonight. paulie, we're getting absolutely and totally fucked up!"

at about 9 o'clock, i slipped on a t-shirt i thrifted: an old weezer concert tee from their pinkerton era and a pair of blue skinny jeans that were new enough not be too worn in and were free of any stains. while i slipped on a pair of comfortable adidas, spencer was busy sliding a belt that was going to be taken off anyway through the loops of his thigh exposing shorts. complete with an oversized striped new orleans saints polo and a pair of adidas that were the same as mine, just less used, he looked like a complete douche.

"you ready, bro? jesse said he's leaving his house now, so he should be here soon."

"yeah, let's get it."

jesse stewart was a tough nut to crack. i've known him for two years and he was spencer's big, meaning that i was probably the second closest person to him in my pledge class. we've always had great conversations and great times together, but i barely knew the basics about his life. it took me six months of knowing him to even figure out what his favorite color and favorite candy was. he's one of the four competent and active juniors in our frat even though he was aiming to go to a top 10 med school. my theory is that he juggles his duties as a bio major, potential archon for next year and captain of the soccer team by opting to live with his elderly great aunt in her mansion on st. charles avenue instead of in our fraternity house. old people usually know how to manage their shit, why not manage someone else's along the way?

i began walking with spencer to the elevator of our dorm and he pressed the button for the first floor. we waited patiently until we were able to get on and go down.

"paul, you seem kind of bummy."

"is it my weezer t-shirt? i know it's probably kind of old-"

"no, not poor. like bummed out," corrected spencer.

"oh. i'm good." spencer stared directly at me and scrunched his face in thought.

"you just need to get laid. that's what it is."