geed | clairo

twelve

it was 3am and the team of doctors treating sam finally allowed us to see him. lara offered to get coffee for us so we could have a bit of privacy.

sam came from a family of devout catholics. he went to a catholic school his entire life and had a father who was intolerant of most things: sam's attraction to spencer being the most prominent. sam was home for the weekend and decided to tell them about his rising relationship with spencer. his dad had an explosive reaction before leaving with his mom for a business trip. sam was told to either "bring back a girlfriend or kill himself" by next month.

sam had his stomach pumped but the doctor treating him told us that there was nothing of major concern, only traces of some pills. we were cleared to see sam around a quarter to 4 and spencer entered the room first, while i stood outside the door with jesse who held our coffee and lara remained in the lobby.

after a few minutes, spencer motioned for jesse and i to come into the room. sam was in a hospital bed wearing a white gown that was only a few shades whiter than he was while spencer settled into a chair next to him. spencer looked uncharacteristically disheveled. his hair was in a messy middle part, seemingly tousled due to him reflexively running his fingers through it and he was wearing a navy blue event sweatshirt that made his usually tan skin look paler than usual with a pair of slim khakis and dirty white nike air forces.

"how are you, man?" greeted jesse, breaking the awkward silence between us all. sam took a deep breath before answering.

"i'm sorry. i'm so fucking sorry," said sam, placing a hand in his hair.

"sam, i love you." spencer was now staring straight at him.

"i-"

"i love you. and i don't give a fuck about what your dad says. if we're going to be together, it's going to be on our own terms, not his." interjected spencer.

"spencer, i love you. i'm just sorry for doing this to you guys. i-i interrupted paul and lara and-and you guys were having a good time and i just fucked it all up," replied sam.

"you didn't fuck anything up, sam. i'm always here for you. and paul and jesse are too," said spencer. i nodded in acknowledgment while jesse shifted his weight to his right foot.

"what am i gonna do? they-, the doctors called my parents and-and they're on their way here from austin," asked sam.

"i'm gonna stay here with you all night. jesse can drop off paul and lara so i can talk to your parents with you," stated spencer.

spencer had an irresistible charm. he could entice married middle aged women and slightly homophobic lacrosse players with any issue, but could he tackle a homophobic catholic businessman?

jesse dropped lara and i off back at sam's house so i could drive my truck back to my house and hopefully have a somewhat peaceful and normal night with lara.

by the time we got back to my house and attempted to resettle, the sky was starting to show hints of a sunrise. i couldn't go to sleep due to the shock of the night and the strong hospital coffee and lara seemed just as awake as i did. we each ate a slice of pizza before heading back to my room and settling in my bed.

"i'm really sorry about sam. he's a really sweet guy and i, um, i hope he recovers," said lara, breaking our self-imposed silence. her head was on my chest and her body was wrapped up with mine, giving me her warmth.

"me too. he's a nice guy and i don't want anything to happen to him."

"paul, i think you already know this, but i really like you and i don't want anything to happen to you," said lara. i put my arms around her, pulling her as close as she could get to me.

by 6am, lara and i had fallen asleep in each other's arms and by 8, we had both woken up and were in the process of making out. i was now shirtless as her lips connected with mine and her hands were on my lower back. i pulled away to grab the hem of the sweatshirt she had but she stopped me and pulled it off herself.

seeing lara's boobs for the first time was quite magical but it didn't feel as good as it should've considering the circumstances of the night. but, it was still pretty fucking nice. i kissed her neck softly, moving further down while her hands were now further up my back.

"you don't have condoms, do you?" asked lara, my lips on her clavicle.

"i might have some in my truck," i replied, thinking of the ones spencer gave me and immediately putting my lips back in the same spot.

"grab them. i'm not sure if my birth control is working yet." i gave lara a kiss on the lips and i got up quickly, walking out of my room and searching for my keys. i found them on the kitchen counter and hurriedly went outside, making sure to keep it quick since lara was waiting for me. i walked outside and it was my misfortune to see my elderly neighbor, ross jackson.

i waved quickly at him, hoping he wouldn't mention the fact that he saw me shirtless and digging in my truck frantically. i put the condoms spencer gave me in my glove box and i grabbed three, assuming that would be enough and hurried back inside. i closed the front door and got to my room quickly. lara was sitting on my bed, cross-legged and waiting. i took off my sweatpants and threw the condoms on the bed, settling next to her and kissing her on the lips again.

"take off your briefs," commanded lara. i obeyed and she dove in.

though lara only had two sexual partners, i could say with confidence that she gave me the best blowjob i had ever received. i ran my fingers through her hair while she continued and tried to refrain from moaning. after a few minutes, she finished and began to kiss my neck.

"do you want me to give you-"

"i didn't shave, but we can do it some other time," interjected lara, taking her lips off of my neck momentarily. i grabbed a condom and opened it, putting it on.

i loved kissing lara. her lips felt absolutely spectacular and i couldn't get enough of them at the moment. we had spent the entire morning with our bodies connected. it was now 10am and lara held me, my head on her chest and her arms around my shoulders.

"when do you wanna head back to your place?" i asked, tilting my head up and staring into her eyes.

"whenever we're finished with our second round."

lara and i were now back at her house, eating bowls of frosted flakes together. she changed into a pair of mom jeans, keeping on the sweatshirt i'd given her last night and we sat facing each other on her sofa.

"so, what's gonna happen with the sam and spencer situation?" asked lara, before she shoveled a bite of frosted flakes into her mouth.

"i'm not sure. i'll ask spence."

spencer knight:
i'm bringing sam back to campus tm
his doctor is letting him do therapy instead of being committed so he can focus on school and stuff
i rly like him, i'm gonna ask him out officially when he gets better

"be honest, do you believe in happy endings?" questioned lara. i took another bite of cereal before i contemplated the answer.

"i'm not sure i believe in endings. i think we can experience good things and bad things, but the experience as a whole can be either good or bad."

"i want a happy ending. i don't want someone to pull the rug from under my feet and say sike, you don't deserve happiness, you know?" explained lara, while i began to drink the milk from my bowl.

"you deserve a happy ending. everyone does."