Absinthe In Colour Purple *frerard*

9. Love Will Tear Us Apart

Gerard opened the door, expecting Frank, but was disappointed to spot a man. 

"Hello, I'm sorry to intrude but, is this the room of Frank Iero?"

Gerard nodded, still confused, towards the short blonde. 

"I have a message for him." He handed over an envelope. Gerard took it and closed the door. He sat on the bed and read the address. His brows furrowed together in consideration. Gerard knew he shouldn't open it. It wasn't his.  He couldn't wrap his mind around it. The number, street...it all clicked inside.

***

Frank opened the door just to see Gerard restlessly pacing back and forth. "Gee?" 

He was utterly confused, scattering across the room until it dawned on him. Frank saw the letter laid on the bed. Naked, raw, obvious.

"Gerard, please, you got it all wrong. Can we talk?"

He finally stopped, jaw clenched. "Talk?" He whispered-yelled. "You wanna fuckin TALK?!"

His face was red with eyes popping, the air was filled with heaviness familiar enough but different. Frank lost his act. He wasn't cool and tough. He was scared, small, fragile. 

"I trusted you! Now I don't any more! There's nothing for us to talk about!"

He picked up the bag, stormed out of the room, hotel, and onto the street. He walked nowhere, just trying to escape the despair and betrayal. The immense rage was slowly coming from the edge. 

He jumped off the cliff into the air, thinking he was flying again. He fell onto harsh ground of reality, broken and ruined.

He thought he had known. But it was all fake. Everything. Gerard found a bench, sat down, and started weeping. Like a child who lost at a board game. Except that he was the chess figure, he was manipulated and his life lost.

So he did what he had to. He found a bar and used the payphone. 

"Mom?"

After he heard her voice, he broke down again. She shushed him, telling all the right words, saying soft pleads and promising tomorrows. 

"Is it true? Are you a part of this?"

Gerard wanted to scream and break everything like a hurricane but he was too tired for another outburst. And after everything ended up ruined, it was his turn to end. 

He wanted to accuse and hate her. But there was just nothing left inside. So he hung up and called Ray. 

How could he be that stupid? Believing Frank he has that much money saved? Willing to spend it just like that? 

Ray came to fetch him. In that washed up red car. Krista by his side. Both frightened, sad, shocked. 

Suddenly it was too warm, too sunny, too peachy. Gerard curled up inside the trailer. He didn't feel like crying in the dark. Ray insisted he gets some food but Gerard refused. He only did the necessary. 

He slept for two nights and a day before coming out to take a shower and eat. He didn't say a word, avoiding their pity filled looks. He decided they were too much and returned to bed. 

Mostly he was numb. Sometimes he could feel the ground opening up, washing him with these emotions. But only sometimes. 

Ray and Krista stayed together. Both pretending they care. Gerard didn't buy it for a second. God turned his back on him years ago. 

He had nothing. Not a friend or a foe. His family was back at the beginning. Still, after years of patching up the stitches, apologies and forgiveness. And his heart above all. That fragile piece of hope, filled by suspicion and past lessons. Gerard convinced it to let go. Just enjoy the fun, possibilities and dream. He wanted to dream and his heart trusted blindly.