Most girls would be jealous of Calliope Draycott. She seemingly has it all. The friends, the money, the boyfriend, and in a few years, if all goes to plan, she'll have the job too. So why doesn't she feel happy? It's after a disastrous family dinner...
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When Arden and Cece found out that I was heading home for the weekend they insisted on coming with me.
Heading home for the weekend isn't as much of a big deal for me though as it is for Cece. She has about a two-hour drive home, and I'm about a half-hour's walk away. I don't blame them for wanting to tag along either, because it's a pretty nice house.
It's not as fancy as Cece's, or as secluded, considering that she has a load of land that surrounds it, and well, mine is terraced. I think we're paying more for the postcode, but it's six bedrooms - with a few of those converted into office spaces and a library.
We're so close to some museums, like the V&A and the Natural History Museum, and Hyde Park. Which is how I knew about that spot that I took Theo to that night we watched the fireworks. I never took Isaac there, and the thought fills me with guilt.
Because once again, I can't believe how blind I was for so long. That I let myself hurt Isaac by slowly pulling away from him for two months, that I didn't realise the difference between friendship feelings and the feelings that were developing for Theo.
Theo.
Waking up to him on Tuesday morning was better than the first time because this time, it wasn't an accident or mistake. He hadn't stayed because he didn't want to wake me up, he stayed because he wanted to; because he wanted to be with me.
He's right though. It's too soon to jump headfirst into whatever it is that's going on between us. I need time to heal from Isaac, to get used to not having him in my life when he was such a big part of it for so long. Because I love him, and that feeling doesn't go away overnight.
Which makes me feel a bit embarrassed about how I acted when Theo came over Monday night, and I'm so glad he didn't kiss me because he was right, I would've regretted it. I regret how I acted but I knew he understood. That I was upset, that I needed the comfort, that I needed him. He just comforted me in a different way, he comforted me by being there, by turning me down, by staying.
By promising me that when the time is right, he's going to kiss me and he's never going to stop.
'Why do you look so happy?' Cece says, eyeing me suspiciously.
'Just thinking happy thoughts,' I say brightly.
When she raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms across her chest as if to say I don't believe you, I pout. 'You know, it's not a crime for me to be happy,' I whine.
She and Arden share a look between them before they both turn back to me. 'Ok, but it's unusual to be this happy when you and your boyfriend of over a year have broken up recently.'
We all carry on walking, and I'm so close to home, I feel excitement start to bubble up in my stomach.
'I love Isaac, I do, and he loves me, but this was for the best. We were hurting each other, and it's better to end things now, civilly, than to let it get toxic. So I'm sad, I am, and sometimes I hear a joke and I have to resist texting it to him because it's the type of joke only he would appreciate. But I'm happy because by calling things off now, one day I'll be able to send him those jokes again, because, with time, we'll be able to be friends.'
