Right Here

Part 9: Fire Burning

Waking up, I stretch and drop my arms beside me.

Bed?

I was totally asleep in my bathroom and I'm pretty sure I'd remember getting up and getting into this comfy bitch. Rolling over, I'm a bit take aback when I find not only Luna in bed, but also Max. What the Hell?

My head hurts so bad from all my crying and carrying on last night. I feel like I was hit by a dump truck. It was bad. I was a mess. The fact that Max spent the night is a bit...concerning. I would have figured he left. I would have thought that he would want to be as far away from me as possible. But nope. Here he is, in my bed of all places, five feet away. Sliding out of bed, trying not to disturb him, I find that I'm simply in my undergarments from last night and my long sleeve white tee. Did he? Did he remove my pants? Or did I? I mean either way- Thank you, because skinny jeans to bed is not comfortable in the morning. I have a pain in my lower back from the floor. Bending forward, I clasp my hands behind me and pull them away from my back. There's three loud cracks and I feel so much better. Standing up straight, I walk around the front of my bed towards the bathroom and I jump out of my skin.

"Good morning." Max is awake and smirking. Scared the shit of me, the bastard.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Could you not have said something before you scared me half to death?" I whisper yell and hold my chest. His whole expression softens and he reaches out of bed and grabs my arm. Pulling me closer to the bed, he scoots back a bit and tugs me down in beside him. It's so odd. Laying mere inches apart. I'm facing him and I can feel his hot breath on my face and I can see deeper into his blue eyes than ever before. "Max..."

"I couldn't leave you last night. Not after all you said. You really scared me." He pulls me that extra inch and has his right arm wrapped around my back and his left cradling my head like a muscled pillow. He holds me tight and I feel terrible about last night. "Helen, how could you think that I wouldn't want you to have survived the crash? You are not worthless. You matter so much to me. I can't stop loving you Helen. I can't. The thought of you being that upset that you would rather be gone...I...my heart breaks thinking about."

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, Max." I close my eyes and press my forehead to his. Bringing his right hand to my face, he embraces my left cheek.

"No, Helen stop. Stop. Don't cry." Wiping away my tears, he tries to sooth me. My hands are pressed to his chest- in between our bodies.

"I'm sorry..." The tears come and he just rubs my back and holds me tightly.

"Helen, please...look at me." I open my eyes slowly and he looks between them. "I love you. Helen, I love you...please. Please don't think that you're worthless or that I don't want you. Helen, I want you so much."

His eyes search mine and then look between them and my lips. I feel my stomach twisting and my mouth parts slightly.

"Tell me..." He says quietly. "Tell me it's okay to want you. Tell me it's okay that I love you."

I search his eyes and then his mouth.

"I love you...Max. I want you..." I ever so quietly say.

"Say it..." He whispers and his fingers slowly move up my back. I hold the sides of his face and watch him through half lidded eyes.

"It's okay..." My voice is shaky and he slowly presses his lips to mine. Eyes closing and the wave of twists consume my stomach. His thin silky lips caress mine as his slight beard tickles my face. Hands gliding slowly up and down my back sends shivers through out the length of my spin. It's a shorter kiss than I'd like, but I understand it. He's still hurt by my actions- he just wanted to reassure me of my existence and meaning to his life.