Right Here

Part 13: Stop, Max

Silence...

How do I get out of this? Out of this pain. Out of this fear.

We've sat here for a few moments now, and I still don't understand what I'm to do. Max hasn't said anything. He hasn't moved. I'm not even sure if he's breathing anymore. I'm paralyzed. The fear is so overwhelming that I can't even begin to remember how to move. Maybe I should just go. Maybe I should just get up and leave. He probably doesn't want me here at the moment anyway. As I get up to leave I feel his hands tighten around me and pull me back to his body. Why? Why won't he just let me go? What does he possibly get from keeping me here after I ruined everything?

"Where are you going?" His voice is quiet and neutral.

"I just figured... I just figured that you didn't want me here." He repositions me so I'm laying on the bed and he's laying beside me- hovering just enough over top of me so I can see him and that his arms are over top of mine so I can't leave.

"I don't want you to go. I want to talk about this."

"What's there to talk about? Once more, I'm finding a way to slowly mess this whole thing up for us. I'm sorry." Taking his fingers he rubs them over my forehead to remove some of my hair from my face. He looks down into my eyes longingly, but he still doesn't give away whether he's angry, upset, or just here.

"Why are you always so quick to say that you're ruining everything. And to think that I wouldn't want to be with you. Helen, I told you before you mean so much to me. I appreciate you being honest. I really do. I know this wasn't planned. I know this probably frightens you as much as it would anyone else. But I'm not going anywhere. Am I thrilled that you're having Cassian's baby- no not really- but that doesn't take away from the fact that I am madly in love with you and would do anything to keep you safe and happy and in my life. He doesn't want to be the father, then fine. You're probably better off any how. As long as I'm around...You won't have to worry about anything. So please, stop assuming that I want you to go, because that is so far from it all." Leaning down, Max kisses my forehead and then my lips. His blue eyes just look between mine and I find that reassurance that I need. "I love you. I will always love you. You're not going anywhere. You're mine. Forever."

I choke on the breath in my throat. Why is he so cute? How did I get so lucky?

Reaching up, I place a hand on his cheek and smooth my fingers over his stubbly beard. I've always longed to feel so comforted and wanted and loved by this man. The fact that it's happening, it just feels like a big dream. I don't wanna wake up from it... ever.

"I love you. I was just so worried all day."

"I know you were."

"You knew?"

"About you being pregnant? Yeah, I knew. Last few days you've been really... All over the place emotionally. Then this morning with you getting sick, I knew what it was. I just figured...I just figured I'd let you tell me when you're ready. I honestly didn't expect it to be so soon though. I was going to give you another two weeks to let everything sink in."

"You knew I was going crazy all day... And you never said anything? It's kind of a dick move. Ha ha." I laugh through a few of my tears and he scoots himself closer to me. Snuggling around my body, he puts his face in the crook of my neck and just kisses my jaw, neck and shoulders. It feels so nice. It makes my skin tingle where his lips press.

"Well, I like to see a chicken running around with his head cut off for a little bit before I intervene." Rolling onto my right side, I look at him and hold onto the sides of his face as I place a few tender kisses on his lips. His arms wrapped around me, but we're shortly interrupted by Luna tugging at his pant leg.