Gleaming Part

....08

Chapter 08

"Hey, hey, Cadie." Lumuhod si Thomas para pantayan ako.

"No, don't touch me! Don't touch me!" Napasigaw ako at kusang lumalayo sakanila. I saw how my friends were shocked seeing me like this.

It happened because of a touch.

Eugene caressed my neck that made me uneasy. I stiffened, nanlamig ako, nanginig, kinabahan, nasaktan. He was trying to wipe something that he thought that was the pizza sauce when the mark that my father left was dark and visible. That's where my attack began. I didn't know why it happened all of a sudden but, it used to give me hints.

"Don't touch me, please!" Humikbi ako at hinayaan na makita nila na ganito ako.

"Huwag niyo 'ko hawakan. Please, huwag." I curled my legs closer to me so I could hug it.

Patuloy pa rin ako sa pagiyak.

"S-She was okay awhile ago. Did I hurt her? What did I do? May nagawa ba akong mali?" Hindi mapakali si Eugene at halatang natatakot na lumapit sa'kin.

"Wala kang ginawang masama, Eugene." Iyon lang ang sinagot ni Thomas sakaniya at dahan-dahang hinawakan ang mga kamay ko.

He made his face closer to me, "Was that the painful thing he did to you last night? What did he do?"

I looked at him and continued crying, "S-Sinakal, He scratched it, he licked, bit it." I whispered. Pumikit ako ng mariin dahil naiisip ko uli kung anong nangyari kagabi.

I heard him sigh and his hold on me tightened. 

"Come on, uwi na muna kita kina Tita. Let's go." He carefully and gently placed his hand on my shoulder and it made me flinched.

"Kaya mo ba?" I nodded and let him hold my shoulder and stood me up.

I looked at my friends and noticed how they are worried. How they are confused.

"Cadie..." Ashley called. Napatingin ako sakaniya at parang naiiyak na.

"Are you okay?" She looked at me with worry evident in her eyes.

I smiled a little and carefully nodded, "Super pagod ako. Kaya ako inatake. I'm sorry, I made you guys worry." Napatingin ako kay Eugene, "Lalo ka na. I'm sorry."

Binaba ko na ang tingin ko sa sahig habang kinukuha ni Thomas ang mga gamit ko.

"She often has this panic attacks when she's super tired. Alam niyo naman lagi maraming ginagawa and ayaw niya na hinahawakan siya." Thomas excused.

"S-Siguro nga ganun, pre. Cadie, mag pahinga ka ha, please." Cameron said with so much meaning.

"Learn to rest, Cadie. Huwag kami o iyong acads mo ang lagi mo iniisip." Greg commented.

"Pahinga ka rin, I know that you don't want us to see you in this state, at least alam na namin na super drained and tired ka na." Grace smiled a little.

"I'm sorry, Cadie. I should've just stick with my senses kaysa sa pinapakita mo. Please rest." Eugene looked at me softly and I nodded.

Nagpaalam na si Thomas at pinapasok na niya ako sa kotse.

I was silent the whole ride pauwi sa bahay nila Thomas.

I am still shivering and it keeps on replaying on my mind what happened.

Pagkarating naman dun ay agad naman ako pinababa ni Thomas, he grabbed all of my stuff and went inside their house.

It's been so long since I last went here. Lagi ako pinagbabawalan ni papa pumunta dito. The last time I went here nagpadala pa siya ng mga pulis para lang kunin ako kahit wala namang mali sa pagbisita kina Kuya at Mama.

"Thomas, hindi ako sigurado kung pwede ako tumagal dito. Ayoko na ulit maulit ang nangyari noong nakaraan." He turned to me and I saw him so frustrated.

"Kahit ngayong araw lang, ibigay mo sa'min oras mo at kami lang isipin mo. Kahit ngayong araw lang, Cadie." Tumalikod na uli siya at dumiretso na sa living room.

I looked at the staircase and saw my Kuya Kean running down as he saw me.

"Cadie." He breathed as he went near me. I saw how his eyes are getting teary and I can't help but to feel this pain in my heart.

"Kuya." He was about to come closer to me but I backed away.

A glimpse of pain was evident in his eyes but he covered it with a smile.

"Kumain ka na ba?" I nodded. Tahimik lang siya nakatingin sa'kin habang ako ay tinitignan kung anong nag bago sa pisikal na anyo niya.

When we saw each other yesterday at Army Navy, I didn't properly gave mom and kuya's looks attention because I couldn't be seen with them in public places. Everything will just be chaotic and I'm going to be the one who will face the consequences and not them. It's unfair. Ako na lang lagi sumasalo sa lahat ng masasakit na salita at gawain.

I know they think about me too much but, I hope they will do something about it. Hindi lang naman ako ang pwede lumaban dito. Sila din naman pwede eh. Pero bakit ako pa rin sumasalo ng lahat ng sakit? Ako na lang lagi.

My Kuya Kane.... He grew taller the last time I saw him. Balita ko he passed the board exams as an Architect. His face matured, became more cold and intimidating. I smiled a little looking at him. He's still the kuya I knew, handang protektahan si mom.

"Cadie, I-" He didn't finish what he was about to say to me when we heard footsteps coming down.

"Talaga, Thomas? Andiyan ang anak ko?" I heard mom say as she go down the stairs.

When she saw me, she immediately began to cry. My face softened and was about to go to her when Kuya Kane hugged her.

"Ma, huwag kang umiyak." He kissed the forehead of mommy and I saw mommy smiled.

Nakakainggit, nakakainggit kasi may bond sila together, habang ako sa bahay, ang tanging masasandalan ko lang ang mga kasambahay. Walang kuya, walang nanay, walang tatay.

I'm all alone, and it saddens me because it's the truth. Naiinggit ako kay kuya. Kasi may magulang siyang pwedeng takbuhan kapag pagod na siya, o kaya malungkot. May magulang siya.

Pero ako? Hindi ko na naramdaman na may pamilya ako ever since that night. Matagal na iyon pero, it's still fresh for me. It still pains me because I was the one who caught all the consequences to what they all have done. I was the one who suffered when they got away with it. Hindi ba sila nagguilty? Hindi ba sila nasasaktan? Hindi ba nila kaya na ipagtanggol ako? Ipaglaban ako? Hindi ba nila kaya na kuhain ako dati? Hanggang ngayon pa ba hindi pa rin kaya?