Gleaming Part

....27

Chapter 27

Cadie's POV

Tumayo kaagad ako nang pumasok si Ashley, "What's wrong?" I immediately asked.

Inirapan niya ako at umupo.

"Huwag mo nang alamin." Nakipagusap naman na siya kina Cameron. Tinignan ko ang pinto, I bit my lip.

"Wait lang." I mumbled and went outside.

Paglabas ko nakita ko si Greg at Eugene nag uusap.

"She needed to leave in order to save herself, that's all I can say." Greg told Eugene and turned his back on him.

Nagulat si Greg nung nakita ako pero ngitian ko siya. I looked at the person behind him and noticed him looking at me too.

I sighed. Lumapit ako kay Greg, "I'll just talk to him for a sec."

Tinignan ako ni Greg na parang hindi siya sangayon sa pagusap ko kay Eugene. I smiled a little bit, "Trust me."

He sighed and nodded. Tumingin muna siya uli kay Eugene bago pumasok sa restaurant.

I looked at Eugene again and he looked away and started kicking the stones in the parking lot.

I stepped forward, "Kamusta ka?" I carefully uttered my words.

He looked at me and scoffed, "Ayan ba talaga ang gusto mo tanungin?"

He's sarcastic today, huh.

"Kamusta ka nung iniwan kita at kamusta ka ngayon?" I asked directly staring right at him.

"Do you really want to know?" He arched his eyebrow and shook his head in disbelief.

"Insensitive ka pa rin hanggang ngayon?" Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya.

"Ano? Hindi ka na ba nakakaramdam, Cadie? As far as I know, you're the selfless, understanding, caring, and loving one out of all of us!" Medyo tumaas ang boses niya.

I stepped back.

I smiled sadly, "Hindi ko alam na bawal na pala unahin ang sarili, Eugene?"

"Hindi ko alam na bawal pala unahin ang sarili para sa ikabubuti ko? You didn't know how hard it is-"

He pointed at me, "YOU didn't know how hard it is for me, Cadie! Buti nga ikaw, you have Thomas beside you! I may have the others beside me pero pare-pareho lang din kami nagluksa sa biglaang pag alis mo! Ni hindi ka nag paramdam through text? Call? Wala ako ni isang natanggap galing sa'yo! Tapos ano pa? Malalaman ko na alam ng kaibigan natin, pero ako hindi? Hindi ko deserve ng ganoon! Iniwanan na nga ako, hindi ko pa alam." I stayed silent.

Tumawa siya nang mahina at kinagat labi niya, "Tell me, Cadie. Nung paalis ka, naisip mo ba ang mararamdaman ko? O ginusto mo talagang umalis na walang paalam?"

I closed my eyes trying to calm myself down, I know I hurt him too much, but I don't deserve his accusations.

"Ano, Cadie? Sagot-"

"Hindi mo kasi maiintindihan, dahil nga in the first place I really don't want to add another weight. You have suffered enough." I stated

Umiling siya at ngumisi, "Ang sabihin mo lang ay para tumakas ka dahil may ginawang kasalanan ang tatay mo-"

"Stop it. That's not the reason-" I gritted my teeth.

"Then what's the reason?" He looked up and chuckled, "Bakit mo nga pala sasabihin sa'kin. Sino nga ba ako?"

"You're someone I valued the most." I stated.

He looked at me, "Valued? Dati?" Tumango-tango siya.

"I still do, I still care for you. I do value and love you-"

"Watch your words, may girlfriend ako." He coldly said.

"Sabihin mo na lang na ayaw mo sabihin sakin dahil hindi mo ako mapapagkatiwalaan." Umiling kaagad ako.

"Sabihin mo lang na I am not worth your time na kahit simpleng paalam lang di mo magawa-"

I can't take this.

"I wanted to go to you! I wanted to!" I shouted back at him with frustration.

Sinabunutan niya sarili niya at malamig na tumingin sa'kin.

"If you wanted to, you would've found a way to go to me." His words struck me, it's so painful. Bakit hindi niya ako maintindihan? Bakit hindi niya kaya na ilagay niya ang sarili niya sa position ko?

"Sa tingin mo dahil hindi ako nakapunta sa'yo, hindi ko na ginusto? Hindi lang ikaw ang nawalan dito! Ako rin!" I place my hand on my chest trying to calm my breathing.

"Feeding me with lies, sana sinabi mo na aalis ka ng Pilipinas para hindi ako mag mukhang tanga." He said like it's actually what he wanted.

"You don't think na kahit isang beses pinaramdam ko sa'yo na mahalaga ka sa'kin? We may haven't had the label but, we fucking cared for each other, Eugene! We fucking cared for each other!" My eyes started to pool with tears that made me hard to breathe even more.

Ngumisi siya at umiling. He looked at me like I wasn't someone he treasured way back then.

"Why are we wasting time arguing with this? Besides, we were kids back then. Senior high?" He scoffed. "I bet, it's just a waste of time for us to talk about what has happened. It's been how many years already, Cadie. Masaya na ako sakaniya, pwede ba?" He turned himself to the other way and walked away.

Napaupo ako at tinakpan ang mukha ko. Nanghina ako.

I deserve this. I know, I do. Okay lang na magalit si Eugene. Kasalanan ko. Kasalanan ko. It's all my fault. Wala nga siyang alam, kaya kasalanan ko. It's okay for him to get mad. It's okay. It's really okay.

I sobbed.

It hurts. It hurts seeing him happy with someone else. But, he deserves to be happy. He does.

Heavens above, please give me a sign if I should let go. If I should let him go. If I should walk forward without him. If I should chase my dream even without the person I promised to chase with. To chase our dreams.

I heard my phone rang kaya pinunasan ko na kaagad ang luha ko at sinagot iyon.

"Hello?" I tried wiping my tears again.

"Cadie baby!!" I immediately smiled when I heard his voice.

"Hey." I only mumbled.

"Who ruined your mood? Bakit sad ka? Sinong may gawa sa'yo niyan? Wala ako diyan para sa'yo tapos ang lungkot mo. Kasama mo ba sina Ashley? Inaway ka ba nila?" He asked a lot of questions that made me laugh a little.

"Thomas, I saw Eugene." I heard him sighed.

"Nakita mo lang naman eh. Okay lang iyon, hanggang tingin lang." he laughed that made me roll his eyes.

"I saw him, bumped into him, met his girlfriend and talked to him"

"Maayos naman pala eh... saglit, girlfriend?" I nodded kahit di niya nakikita.

"Yep, his girlfriend." He laughed.

"Ready na pala siya mag commit ngayon? Paano kay niyan Cadie? Hindi ka binigyan ng label dati. Papayag ka ba niyan?" Tumawa pa siya.

I rolled my eyes, "Sana hindi masarap breakfast mo."