Gleaming Part

....05

This chapter is quite triggering.
WARNING: There are scenes that can be triggering for you. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Chapter 5

"Millicent." The knock became louder. Tinago ko muna under the sink iyong phone at huminga ng malalim.

I went outside my bathroom and opened the door.

Bumungad sa'kin ang tatay ko at huminga siya ng malalim.

"Kakain na." I nodded fast and was about to close my door when he stopped me from doing it.

"Give me your gadgets." He held my arm that made me back away a little. Tumango naman kaagad ako at ibinigay ang phone, ipad, at laptop ko.

He looked at me from head to toe and snickered.

"Bakit balot na balot ka? Maiinitan ka niyan. Change into something that will make you breathe." I started to become nervous. I don't like where this conversation is going.

"Mag bihis ka na po papa." I looked away.

I heard him sigh, "Mag palit ka." He walked away and I immediately closed the door. Ni-lock ko iyon at sumandal don.

My hands are shaking. I'm sweating from being nervous not because of the heat. My eyes began to water as I sit down and curled my legs to hug it. 

I stayed like that for a good 3 minutes to calm myself down. I went to the mirror and looked at my reflection.

You disgust me. You're so worthless. You're dirty. If you just pretended to sleep the first night he did this to you, if only you didn't come out of your room, if only you did not answer his knocks. You wouldn't be this dirty. This is all your fault. You did this to yourself. Iniwan ka ng nanay at kuya mo, hindi mo kayang tumakas. Napaka-hina mo.

I clenched my fists and shut my eyes tight. These thoughts, these thoughts is something I wouldn't like to think but, it keeps going.

I grabbed my keys and went outside my room. I locked it and went downstairs.

Umupo na ako sa kabilang dulo, malayo sa inuupuan ni papa. I grabbed the glass in front of me to drink water but my hands are shaky.

Mamang immediately went to me and helped me drink.

"Pasensya na, anak." She whispered.

I smiled at her as she placed down the glass of water and wiped the side of my mouth. We heard footsteps coming down that's why she immediately backed away from me.

Nang nakarating si Papa sa dining table, kumunot ang noo niya at tinignan ang suot ko. Umiling siya at napangisi.

"Millicent, seat beside me. We will have guests coming over." I stiffened and looked at mamang. She looked away and I can see her starting to tear up.

"Dito na lang po sana ako, Papa." I stuttered. He looked at me with those eyes. Those eyes that scares and hunts me when he touches me.

"Sinabing dito ka sa tabi ko!" He shouted so loud that it echoed through the dining area.

"Huwag mo akong susubukan, Millicent." I immediately stood up and went to sit beside him.

He was about to say something to me when our doorbell rang. He stood up and went to our main door.

Napahinga ako ng maayos at tumingin kay mamang, nodding at me saying she's here.

I nodded back and calmed myself down.

I heard chatters coming to the dining area that made me sit properly.

I looked at them and saw Eugene's parents. I immediately stood up and went to say hi to them. Kahit na nanginginig, I try myself to act okay.

"Hi, Tita Claire." Bumeso ako sakaniya.

"Hi, Cadie." She hugged me and I smiled. The comfort she gives me is somehow like a mom comfort.

Lumipat ang tingin ko kay Tito Kline, bumeso rin ako sakaniya habang siya at hinagod ang likod ko. I flinched because, whenever somebody touches me, it felt pain. Kahit na sino but I just act like it doesn't bother me. The trauma is very strong but I don't know how I'm able to cope with this.

"Let's eat." Papa announced that made me sit fast.

It's a typical dinner, they chatted about business and some sort. Tahimik lang ako kumain.

The dessert came, wala akong gana kumain pero, pinagbigyan ko na 'to.

"So, Finn. I heard that your daughter is running for honors? Ang galing ha?" I looked at Tito Kline and slightly smiled.

Napatigil ako sa pagkuha ng cake when I felt my father's hand on my thigh.

My heart started to beat faster, I start to sweat again, my eyes began to water, and I began to become uneasy.

Napatayo kaagad ako kaya lahat sila napatingin sa'kin.

I saw my dad's eyes began darker.

I breathed, "I'll just get a glass of juice po." I tried myself not to shake.

"The maids can do that, Millicent. Sit down." Papa commented.

"Finn, let her get herself some juice. Juice lang naman, she can get it herself." I looked at Tita Claire and signaled me to go back to the kitchen.

I looked back at papa and saw him trying not to do something. And I know he'll do something to me later.

Mabilis akong pumasok ng kusina. I immediately started choking and put both of my hands on the counter to stable my stand.

The maids went to me and held my hand to calm down.

"He touched me." It's so hard to speak.

They gave me a glass of water and I immediately chugged it. I gave myself some time to breathe before going back to the dining area.

Holding a glass of juice, I immediately sat and saw how Papa looked at me.

I looked at Tita Claire, she's looking like I'm some sort of an experiment, observing me. I smiled but she only looked at me with an undistinguished look.

As they were about to leave, nauna sina Tita Claire at Tito Kline mag lakad. While papa and I remained at their backs.

I felt Papa's hand on my back and started caressing that made me stiffened. I felt pain again. He leaned closer to me, "That's not how you should've treated me awhile ago."