The Alpha's Rebel

Chapter 13

Maddox doesn't say anything at first. For a split second, I'm terrified the roles have been reversed and now he doesn't want me. I open my eyes and look at him, trying to figure out what's going on inside his head.

He's staring at me, his eyes wide and calculating. Under his gaze, I start to squirm. I shift back and forth on my bare feet, I wring my hands together in front of me, and I bite the inside of my lip. I don't look away from him.

"Stop," he says quietly. It comes out more of a growl than anything, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a turn on. There's too many other feelings consuming me to actually react to it, though.

"Stop what?" I whisper, not trusting my voice to go any louder without sounding vulnerable. I hate feeling like this. I hate being scared of not knowing what's going to happen next.

I am Harper Matthews, and Harper Matthews doesn't get scared. Harper Matthews doesn't let people see her when she's vulnerable.

So why do I feel like my world is about to come crashing down right now, all because of this one guy I barely know? I hate how he's able to do this to me. How he's able to bring out this side of me I never knew existed.

"Stop biting your lip like that. It's driving me fucking crazy trying not to kiss you."

Oh.

I stop biting my lip, replacing it with my tongue. I don't bite hard, but I need to feel the pressure of biting down on something. The feeling of needing to puke weakens the harder I bite down.

Maddox doesn't say anything else for a few minutes, and every nerve in my body starts getting jittery. Why isn't he saying anything? Does he not realize how big of a deal it is for me that I just told him I wanted to give us a chance? His gaze is firm, and my squirming continues.

I can't take it anymore. The silence is mentally killing me. I need to know what he's thinking.

"So. . ." I say awkwardly, trailing off with the hope that he'll pick it up from there.

He doesn't. He just stands there, continuing to stare at me like he can't figure me out. I don't blame him. I don't let people read me easily. I'm laying my emotions out in the open right now, though, which is a first for me. I don't do this kind of thing. Why is he taking so long to respond?

It could have been another minute or an hour. My sense of time is broken right now under his stare. Maddox remains silent. With every second that passes, I'm convincing myself this was a mistake and I'm just making a fool of myself.

It would be so easy to turn on my heel and shift back into my wolf. To take off into the night and forget about all of this. To ignore the fact I put my heart on the line for the one person I swore I never would just to have it thrown back in my face.

I can't walk away just yet. This isn't going the way I had hoped it would, but I'm not giving up this easily. I can't bring myself to accept defeat so easily.

Harper Matthews is a badass, and badasses don't give up.

"Maddox, please say something," I beg. I'm desperate, and anyone would be able to hear it in my voice. This voice coming out of my mouth is not me. The sound is foreign to me, and I don't like it. I don't like not sounding strong and confident. I'm not a weak person. Never have been, never will be.

Except for right now.

Right now, I'm so overwhelmed with the thought of someone seeing me so vulnerable. My mind is flashing bright red warning signs, because this person standing in front of me is not Thay or Molly or Vinnie or Kaitlyn. I barely know this person.

Maddox still doesn't say anything

He just keeps staring. I stare at him, waiting for something. Anything. Any kind of indication that I didn't just make a complete ass of myself.

And nothing.

Suddenly, vulnerable Harper is gone, and badass Harper reappears.

The squirming stops, my eyes harden in a scowl, and my body stiffens. I balls my hands by my sides, but not because I'm losing control. The exact opposite, actually.

I feel like me again.

I hold my head up high, and I stare at Maddox for a few more seconds with a familiar feeling of determination in my eyes. It feels so good to have my usual confidence back in place. I hated feeling so vulnerable. I am not a vulnerable person, and I'm furious with myself for letting Maddox create a version of me who is.

I let myself feel vulnerable around my friends sometimes. I trust them with my life. I'm not putting on a show for everyone else; I just let others see the parts of me I want them to see.

I've never become vulnerable until tonight. I've never felt like I lost control of myself. Tonight has been a whir of emotions because of Maddox, and I don't like it. I don't like how easy it was for him to break me down.

He's not even saying anything, and this is how I responded.

I just poured my heart out to him, letting him see a side of me that I don't even let myself see, and he doesn't even have the guts to fucking respond.

Who fucking cares if I just threw my heart at Maddox's face and he didn't even try to catch it? I sure as hell don't. If he doesn't want to be with me, that's his loss. I'm not going to let some guy break me.

I turn on my heels to leave, already feeling the overwhelming urge to shift. I'm about to, and suddenly Maddox breaks the silence.

"Wait."

I haven't taken a step. I don't move to turn around and face him. "You have ten seconds to start talking before I walk away." My voice is cold. There's no emotion, no empathy, no weakness. It's Harper's voice, and a small smirk settles on my lips at the sound of it.

Regardless of me being me again, I can't put myself through this any longer. If Maddox isn't going to start talking, I'm not going to sit around and wait for him. I'm giving him a chance, and this is his only chance to take it.

"It's so hard to tell what you're thinking."

Good. I don't want to be an open book.

"You're one of the most confusing people I've ever met."

Also good. I think.

"And you've been driving me fucking crazy since I met you."

Definitely good. I like driving people crazy. It's my specialty. There's nothing that beats the feeling of knowing you're getting underneath someone's skin.

I finally turn around to face him, the smirk on my lips remaining. He's not smiling, but the smoldering look in his eyes is enough to give him away. He can barely control himself with me right now.

For the first time, I embrace it. I'm able to drive my mate this crazy without even trying. I can only imagine how little self control he would have when I do try.

"I tend to drive people crazy," I say quietly, meeting his smoldering gaze with one of my own. I raise one of my eyebrows in a challenge, daring him to come closer. I bite my lip for an added affect, my smirk growing as Maddox's eyes darken.

All the anxiety from telling him how I'm feeling is gone, replaced with my everlasting confidence. I told him how I feel, he knows how I feel, and now it's down to who's going to make the next move.

Me or him?