My Lover Is My Teacher (ON GOING)

Little Steps

"Kardee! Don't go too far! Baka ma-late tayo sa laro ng Papa Grae mo!" tawag ko kay Kardee na dali-daling tumakbo palayo sa akin.

Nasa park kami ngayon. Kakauwi lang namin sa Pinas last night. May jet lag pa nga ako, pero ewan ko ba kay Kardee, punong-puno pa rin ng energy. Papunta sana kami sa Basketball Tournament ni Grae, pero nagpipilit si Kardee na dumaan sa park kaya pinagbigyan ko muna siya.

"Kardee!" tawag ko sa kanya nang medyo lumalayo-layo na ang takbo niya.

Dali-dali ko siyang hinabol at sinundan. Hindi pwedeng mawala siya sa paningin ko. Kardee is now my life. Kapag nawala siya o mah mangyari sa kanyang mali, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.

"AHHH!!!!"

I panicked when I heard Kardee's voice, screaming.

"KARDEE!!" I shouted.

Dali-dali akong tumakbo palapit sa pinanggalingan ng sigaw.

"MOMMY!!!" sigaw niya ulit.

"DON'T WORRY BABY! MOMMY'S ON HER WAY THERE!!!" sigaw ko habang patuloy na sinusundan ang pinanggagalingan ng sigaw.

Maya-maya pa, nakita ko ang isang lalaki na nakaluhod habang buhat-buhat ang nakahigang si Kardee.

"KARDEE!!!" Dali-dali akong lumuhod at yinakap ang anak ko, "I told you. 'Wag kang lalayo! Mabuti na lang at mabait si Sir, sinalo ka niya." nginitian ko ang lalaki, "Thank you so much. Salamat sa pag-alalay sa anak ko." sabi ko.

"Wala ho 'yon." sagot niya.

"Mommy." singit ni Kardee, "Owie..." sabi niya habang nangingiyak-ngiyak.

Kaagad kong binuhat si Kardee, "Paano na tayo makakapanuod sa game ni Papa Grae mo niyan?" tiningnan ko ulit ang lalaki, "Thank you talaga. Napakabait mo. Gusto kitang pasalamatan, pero kasi nagmamadali na kami. Ku'nin ko na lang number mo, para ma-contact na lang kita incase na free na ako."

"Ah, sige ho." ngiti nito.

Inabot ko ang phone ko sa kanya, at in-enter niya nga ang phone number niya.

"Salamat ulit ha?" sabi ko sabay alis.

"Sige ho. Salamat din." ngiti nito habang kumakaway.

Dali-dali ko namang ibinalik sa kotse si Kardee.

"Masakit ba, hunny?"

Kardee nodded.

I called Grae, and informed him na we couldn't make it in his game. Sinabi ko rin na nadapa si Kardee at kailangan naming linisin sa bahay 'yong sugat niya. Babawi na lang kami sa kanya sa hang-out namin bukas sa Amusement Park.

Mamaya-maya napatingin ako kay Kardee na pilit na binubuksan 'yong pintuan ng kotse.

"Hunny... No.." pigil ko sa kanya, "mahuhulog ka."

"But the Mister told me to stay there." sagot niya.

"Sino? 'Yong lalaki? Don't worry hunny. I got his number, we will thank him and reward him in the next days, but not right now. Uuwi tayo, lilinisan natin 'yang owie mo." paliwanag ko.

"No, not that one. He's a faker." pilit niya pa ring binubuksan 'yong pintuan, "Somebody told him to watch me. And that somebody is a Mister who runs errands to buy me some bandage and ice cream in order to make me and my owie feel better!"

I was surprised by what Kardee said. "Are you sure, hunny?"

"Yes! I am sure!" sabi niya. "We need to come back, Mommy."

"Okay hunny, but we will just be quick." binuhat ko ulit siya at lumabas kami ng kotse.

Bumalik kami sa pinangyarihan ng aksidente. Wala na do'n 'yong kaninang lalaki. I asked Kardelen.

"Are you sure he's coming back?"

"Yes, Mommy. Let's just wait for him."

"Okay, hunny. I just hope he'll be quick."

Ilang minuto na rin ang lumipas pero wala pa rin siya.

"Kardee, he's still not here. We need to go home. Baka maimpeksyon na 'yang sugat mo." sabi ko.

Pero everytime na sinusubukan kong bumalik kami sa kotse, lagi siyang nagpapapasag, at nagpupumiglas. Kesyo, hintayin daw namin si Mister, kawawa naman daw kapag iniwan namin siya.

Maya-maya, wala pa rin ang tinutukoy ni Kardee na Mister, kaya nawalan na ako ng pasensya.

"We're going home, Kardelen." sabi ko.

"Moommy!!! Please, just an extra minute, please!" pilit niya.

"No, Kardee. It's taking him so long. We are going home." matigas kong sinabi.

Nanahimik na lang si Kardee, habang nakasimangot at nakayakap sa'kin. Paalis na sana kami sa pwesto namin nang biglang...

​"Mommy! He's here! The Mister is here!" Kardelen wiggled in my arms, her eyes wide with excitement. "Mommy, let's go back! Hurry!"

​"Alright, alright. I'm going," I said, though my feet felt like they were rooted in concrete.

​I turned around, and the world stopped.

​The air rushed out of my lungs in a sharp, painful gasp. The man standing there wasn't a stranger. He was the man who had haunted my dreams for a decade. He looked older-the sharp lines of his face were more defined, his hair slightly shorter, his gaze weighted with a decade of unspoken regrets-but the eyes were the same.

​It was Leandro.

​My arms tightened instinctively around Kardelen, a protective reflex against the past crashing into the present. I felt like I was losing my mind. How? Why here? Why now?

​He stood a few feet away, holding a plastic bag of medical supplies like they were precious cargo. When his eyes locked onto mine, the ice cream on a stick he held for Kardelen seemed to tremble in his hand. He didn't move. He didn't speak. He just stared, his expression a chaotic mixture of shock, confusion, and a soul-deep recognition that stopped us both dead in our tracks.

​"Here's your ice cream, little angel," he finally murmured, his voice sounding deeper, huskier than I remembered. He knelt down, offering the treat to Kardelen with a tenderness that made my breath hitch.

​"Thank you, Mister!" Kardelen chirped, oblivious to the fact that the earth beneath our feet was currently splitting in two.

​Leandro slowly stood up, his eyes never leaving mine. He looked at me, then at Kardelen, then back to me-scanning my face, looking for the girl he'd walked away from in the rain.

​Bakit sa lahat ng lugar, dito pa? At bakit sa lahat ng tao, ikaw pa?

​The coincidence felt violent. It was fate playing a cruel, twisted joke. Ten years of running, ten years of building a wall between who I was and who I am, and one trip to the park had dismantled it all in seconds.

​I could feel the hum of the city fading into the background, leaving only the sound of my own heart-thumping, erratic, and terrified. I had come back to face the past, but I hadn't expected the past to be holding an ice cream for my daughter.

​"Venus?"

​He said my name, and the sound of it-that one word-brought the last decade crashing down around me.