My Lover Is My Teacher (ON GOING)

Opportunity?

Viewer's Discretion: gaslighting, guilt-tripping

When we arrived at our house, I felt apprehensive. I'm not sure why; I simply had a feeling that something bad would happen. I went inside with my handbag and looked around the living room.

"Pa, si mama?" I asked him.

"Probably still in the office," he answered.

I nodded and walked into our kitchen to get some water but to my surprise...

"CONGRATULATIONS, VENUS!!!" She was there with Dianne and Grae, clutching the newly popped confetti popper.

"Ma?" I asked, smiling. "I thought you were still at work?" I kissed and held her.

"I took a day off, my darling!" she said, "Kailangan kong paghandaan itong araw na 'to for you! Ikaw, what happened to you?!"

"Mahaba pong kuwento."

"Congratulations, Pok Pok!" Dianne said while holding the banner na may nakasulat na 'Congratulations, Venus!'.

I smiled "Ang galing mong magtago!" and thanked her. Napatingin naman ako sa nakangiting si Grae na hawak-hawak ang cake.

"Akala ko may birthday party ang coach niyo ngayon?" I asked him.

"Oo nga." he said, "Pero hindi rin ako nagtagal, this is way more important than him."

I smiled. "Kanina pa kita kino-contact. Pasaway ka." sabay pabirong hampas sa kanya. 

"I'm so sorry. Sinilent ko 'yong phone ko, we're all busy preparing this surprise for you."

Nilapitan na rin kami ni dad at saka niya ako inakbayan. "Congratulations, anak."

"So magkakasabwat kayong lahat?" I asked and we all laughed. "Teka nga, ano bang okasyon, bakit niyo ako kino-congratulate?"

My parents exchanged a friendly grin. Si mama ang nagsalita. "Do you remember when you sent your portfolio to Cornell University on the spur of the moment?"

I gave a nod. "How can I forget that? It was my 18th birthday, and it was the first time I got so intoxicated."

"Right," my father continues. "Well, they mailed us a letter saying that they are interested in seeing your works in person."

I was so shock. Hindi ko akalaing mangyayari 'to. 

"That's why we were pulling you out of your school to continue pursuing your studies there." My father added.

"Mami-miss kita pokpok!" Dianne whined as she hugged me, "'Wag mo akong kakalimutan, ha?"

I looked at Grae, and he mouthed. "Susunod ako."

"Wait, wait..." I said, "Wala pa naman akong response sa kanila 'di ba?"

"Don't worry about that my dear, your mama and I already fixed everything."

"I didn't know what to say," I added, laughing softly.

"Ang suwerte-suwerte mo girl!" Dianne added with matching yugyog, "Lagi mo akong padadalhan ng mga pictures mo roon, ha?"

I gave her a little nudge and smiled. "I'm sorry, but I simply can't absorb anything right now; I think I just needed some time to be alone."

"Venus--" Papa tried to stop me, but Mama didn't let him. 

Hanggang sa tuluyan na nga akong nakapasok sa kwarto ko. I locked the door and deeply I sighed. Hindi ako  makapag-isip ng tuwid. My hands are cold and shaking. Hindi ko akalaing ia-accept nila ang application ko. And I understand how my parents also wanted this for me, pero they should have done anything without my consent. Ako pa rin naman ang mag-aaral hindi sila, but then why did they still do it?!

Momentarily I heard a faint knock behind my door. 

"Anak, do you wanna talk?"

"Pa, please," I said, "I just need some time to think things through since this is quite overwhelming for me."

"Okay," he responded, "I understand. I just wanted to say that I'm... sorry na pinangunahan kita. Na-excite lang kasi ako anak, and sorry kung nagpadala ako sa emosyon ko na hindi ko inalala 'yong kagustuhan mong mag-decide. Don't worry puwede naman natin ipa-cancel 'yon if you think you still need some time to think things through. "

Fuck. 

I heard his footsteps behind the door as if he was about to leave pero hindi ko ito hinayaan. I opened the door and said, "Pa."

He stopped and looked at me with eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry, anak."

I had no other choice but to hug him and calm him down. "It's okay pa, I forgive you." Sino ba namang hindi lalambot ang puso sa papa nila. He already admitted his mistake and for me, that is enough. "Kailan po ang alis ko?"

"At least three months ang ibinigay nilang palugit sa atin para i-process ang mga papers mo, and then you're good to go. Your mama already scheduled a meeting with your adviser and your school's academic head tomorrow para matulungan kaming pabilisan ang process ng papers mo. Again, we're very sorry na pinangunahan ka namin, anak, but I think this is what's best for you. Matagal mo na itong pinapangarap, hindi ba?"

He's right. This is my dream, to become an internationally known graphic artist, but is it still?