BFFs: troubles within A Year

8. Inner Feelings

Fatimah's POV

I can't wait to get to the party. We hop out of the car and enter their house. It isn't as big as ours or Halli's, but it's big enough for a family of three.

We enter and meet UmmuKalthum trying to setup the decorations, she's very bad at it. I laugh at her attempt and take over. Being the daughter of an international interior decorator and event planner has its perks, having this kind of knowledge and experience being one of them. Halli help with the drinks and food while UmmuKalthum continue to invite people over.

The decors are in cyan and milk colors. There was pepper chicken and small chops like samosa and spring rolls, they just arrived. The person that was supposed to bring the cupcakes said that she didn't decorate them. Halli decides she'll decorate them.

We finish everything within three hours and then freshen up. We all wear cooperate dresses. By 6pm, people have started flooding in for the party.

When it clocks 6:30 which is the time Amir is supposed to come home, we switch the lights off and all find hiding spots. The moment he enters, Alex switches on the light and we all shout suprise. He looks so happy.

This is a regular teens party but 'cause the host is a muslim, Haram {prohibited} isn't allowed.

The party goes smoothly and ends at 8pm. We spend the night at UmmuKalthum's place with Ammi, Abba, Mummy and Daddy's permission.

Our parents have given us permission to spend the night anywhere as long as it's not at a boy's house and as long as we are together. But we have to tell them, even if it's via call.

We've been thinking of a shorter name for UmmuKalthum. We decided on Kalt. What a weird name right?

The next morning

I am the first to wake up and when I go out to receive some fresh air, I see Amir in all his glory, exercising. Now I know why he is so muscular.

He turns towards me and motions me to sit on a bench. I sit and he sits beside me. He gives me water which I politely reject.

"Why are you awake so early in the morning?" he turns to face me.

"I just have a habit of waking up sometime after subh, even if I wake up to pray." I shrug.

We chat a bit and I go back inside and get ready for school. It's Friday and we're expected to appear on mufti.

Two weeks later.

Kalt has invited us to her house for our first sleepover.

We go for outings and enjoy ourselves throughout the weekend. Ammi calls twice a day to check on us.

Sunday is already here and for some reason I'm feeling uneasy. Suddenly I'm remembering AbdulHalim and all the memories we shared. I don't want to make Kalt and Halli worry over me so I just go outside to the terrace and sit on a pew.

It is already 11pm so the place is dark. I stare at the sky and admire nature - the sky, stars, moon and everything around me is a sight to behold. I never enjoy this kind of moments but for the first time I feel utter peace. I am usually scared of the dark, but today, the darkness is where I seem to find peace.

I hear sobbing and sniffing from one end of the terrace. I try to walk my way through the dark, keyword, try. I fumble for the light switch and when I find it, I flick it on, almost toppling over a carton.

When I manage to steady myself, Amir is cleaning his face with the back of his palm. I don't bother to hide the shock on my face. Why is he crying?

I sit beside him and keep quiet for a few minutes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He shakes his head and I nod. Forcing people to talk about their problems is never an option.

"Since our parents died, I've had to be Ummu's only support. She once even tried to commit suicide. It has been five years since they died, I was just fourteen when they died." I snap my head towards his direction, this means he's like nineteen years old now. What the heck is he doing in secondary school?! I keep my thoughts to myself and turn back to the sky.

"Sometimes, I just want to cry, I want to scream, just do something. I checked it up and found out it is a symptom of depression. I decided to start taking joy in little things. That didn't work and when I checked it up again, i found out that the only way I could get rid of my depression was to let it all out. When I felt like crying, i needed to cry so that I wouldn't be actually depressed and when i had chest pain, I should drink plenty of water. I should admire myself and lastly i should never stop myself from getting things i wanted, no matter what they are." He concludes looking at me.

"Wow." I don't know what else to say. He holds my hand and it feels uncomfortable but he needs comfort so I let him hold my hand. The last time the opposite sex held my hand was before AbdulHalim's death.

"Just promise me you won't tell anyone. If you tell Ummu she'll be heartbroken so please." I pry his hands sneakily off mine.

"Okay, I promise. But I might have some tips on how to get rid of your depression. Whenever you feel the need to get something off your chest or you have that chest pain, look for someone to confide in, someone you can trust and tell them anything and everything that comes to your mind. Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks B." He gives me a full blown smile. With that, I go back inside hoping that he will confide in me.