BFFs: troubles within A Year

15. Our Little Secret

Fatima's POV

I open my eyes to somewhere that looks like a female bathroom. Of where? I also don't know. I try to move, but I am tied down to a chair. Opening my mouth to scream, I feel a cloth on my lips.

Have I been kidnapped?

Each time I wiggle my hands, the ropes around my hands give me marks. I give up and that is when someone comes out from one of the bathrooms.

Suddenly, the lights go out and then the person multiplies by two, then the lights come on again. The both of them are laughing this evil laugh that's giving me chills. The bad chills.

They are both wearing black sweat pants and black hoodies with black shoes. The hoodies cover their faces so I can't see who they are.

My heart is beating erratically, I think it'll burst out any second. I try to even my breathing but I can't seem to. Then suddenly they both disappear and are replaced by a horse black cat that's as big as a cheetah.

The cat starts sashaying towards me. I try to move the chair I'm tied to but all to no avail. Then the cheetah jumps on me.

I jerk and open my eyes. I'm still in the bus. I'm sweating profusely and my heart is beating a thousand miles per second. It was all a dream, it was all a dream, it was all a dream, I keep repeating in my head.

I am on the chair and lying on someone's chest, a boy. I quickly get up to meet Amir's eyes on me. I quickly move away from him. He reaches out for my hand but I push it away.

I get up to leave the bus but a wave of dizziness overtakes me and stagger back. Amir holds my hand but i pushed his hand away again.

He turns me and looks into my eyes, as if he's looking for a treasure chest or something in my eyes. I know exactly what he's trying to do. But I have closed myself off, he won't be able to read my eyes.

He sighs - probably giving up - and picks up the bottle of water I kept on the ground. He gives me and I collect it thankfully and drink it.

"You still have the nightmares don't you?" I choke on the water, eyes widened. How the heck did he know that?! Only Ammi and Abba know.

"I have my ways you know." Amir shrugs. Did i say that out loud? Of course I didn't! Then how'd he know?

"Was i thinking aloud?" I tilt my head and he replies with a scoff. His face suddenly hardens.

"Why were you crying and laying down there? Did anyone say anything to you?"

"Nothing, just had a little argument." I reply shrugging as my eyes well up with tears. I know I'd end up breaking down in front of him so I just turn my face away from his sight and try to walk away, keyword, tried.

He holds me back. I bite my lips, holding back my tears. But that small act of mine doesn't help a lot. So I close my eyes in a bid to push back the tears.

"Amir please leave me alone. Dan Allah ka sake ni. Ka barni in tafi {for Allah's sake let go of me. Allow me to leave}. Please." I know i sound weak and vulnerable but I can't help it. I don't care if he hears me sound weak but one thing I know is that I'll never allow myself to cry in front of a boy no matter what.

He let go of me only to turn me. The tears I've been trying so hard to push back start falling freely. He put his index finger under my chin and raises my head up in a bid to look into my eyes. I look up and he's flaring. He's angry, but at who?

"What did Sa'eed do?" At this point I can't keep it in so I lean on his chest and let the tears fall freely. I'm sobbing uncontrollably to the extent that I can feel the headache which has disappeared resurfacing but this time with a fever.

Everything in me is screaming Haram but will one time hurt? Nah, it won't.

Amir holds my head to his chest and we sit back down. He looks at me.

"So what happened to you?" I can feel the tears resurfacing as the memories of my encounter with Ya Sa'eed replays in my head.

I narrate all that happened to him and by the time I'm done, I look like a total mess. My head is pounding and I can feel mucus in my nose.

In a bid not to stain his uniform I lift my head off his chest and pull a tissue paper out of my bag. I use the tissue to clean my nose and face then throw it out the window.

"Kuma {and} he's been doing that since when we were small. Wallahi {i swear by Allah} sometimes I even think I'm not his biological sister. Saboda {because} whenever I try to get close to him he'll push me away. When I'm feeling down or moody, sad, angry or anything, the first person I try to talk to is him. Amma {but} he'll push me away. Har maman mu tayi noticing cause rannan naji tana masa fada {even our mum has noticed because i heard her scolding him}. But he hasn't stopped. What did i ever do to deserve this for Allah's sake?" Once again I'm a crying mess.

I look down again and continue "kuma fah this isn't how he was before. When I was in primary four he wasn't like this. We do everything together, literally everything. Amma tunda ya shiga {but since he entered} jss3 everything changed. He doesn't talk to me anymore. Kuma maman mu {and our mumu}, she's always busy, traveling up and down saboda {because} she's an interior decorator.

"Ana kiranta wurare tayi decorating for weddings, namings, even new houses ana kiranta taje tayi choosing decor din da zaiyi matching {people call her to decorate wedding venues, namings, even new houses people call her to choose a matching decor}. I'm tired of all these. The time Ya Sa'eed started avoiding me I grew closer to AbdulHalim. He even told me to stop calling him Yaya. Dama we've been close amma we got closer. Then... Then... sai sukayi accident suka mutu shi da daddyn sa {they had an accident and died with his dad}. I really miss him wallahi." I sniff. I look up again and Amir is fighting back his tears.

"Please tell me you'll never leave me. If I accept you ai you won't block me out like Ya Sa'eed is doing koh? Promise me you'll be my second AbdulHalim. Please, tell me you'll not die and leave me like AbdulHalim did. Please tell me you'll love me with my flaws, my ups, my downs and everything. Please, promise me you'll not betray me. You'll be by my side forever."

He looks into my eyes and all I can see is honesty. After looking in each other's eyes for what seemed like eternity, he picks my two hands and holds them in his.

"I promise, my Fatima. I promise to never leave you. I won't betray my hayatee. I promise." a short sigh of relief escapes my lips. I lay back down on his chest feeling sleepy again.

"Dan Allah {for Allah's sake} don't betray me. It was hard for me to open up to you. Wallahi {I swear by Allah} I can't afford to have my heart broken. I can't be hurt more than I have already been. So please..." He shushes me by putting his index finger on my lips

"Just keep quiet, okay? Ai I've promised you. I won't break my promise." I nod as he lays my head on the chair and stands up.

I adjust myself and lay down properly.

"Amir, please don't let anyone know, not even Kalt. If she knows she'll tell Halli and Halli loves you a lot. She'll feel betrayed and leave. Please don't tell anyone."

"It'll be our little secret." and I fall asleep.