MESSED | ATEEZ ✔

THIRTY-SIX

The whole night I kept thinking about San. I seriously can't getting into sleep but once I was asleep, I got interrupted by someone. A finger keep caressed my hair and a thumb busy brushing my cheeks; my wet cheeks. I open my puffy eyes to looking who was touching me.

"San?" I whispering as I rubbing my eyes with my hand.

"No, it's me. Seonghwa, I'm sorry." He said soft.

I sighed. Yeah, what was I expecting from that. It's obviously after what I done last night he will not coming to me. If he did, he only mocking me or whatever the reason he will show me how he feels.

"Are you okay, Sissy? You worried me, I don't know what happened with you and San. But I'm sorry if I am the reason you and him get into the fought." He sadly said to me.

"No, it's not you. It's just me. I'm the one who make this problem. Don't put the blames on you, oppa." I said as I holding his hand and playing with his finger.

"Hongjoong have told me before about you and the boys. I thought you were with Yunho. I mean I'm sorry for making that shit rules. If I not making that maybe you will dating with the boys happily." He lowered his eyebrows.

"Actually Yunho having a crush on me but that time I already with San. It's not official yet but i-i—." I paused for a second. I take another deep breath and trying to speak up again. "I love him much."

"Then, why you started the fought with him?If he love you, you love him why you need to arguing about that?" He asked me. I don't have another answer to said to him. I need to be honest there was nothing to hiding from him.

"It's because I didn't want to ruined anything here. I love you and I love all the boys here but I can't be selfish if I only choose him instead the others." I shaking my head and closed my eyes.

"Wait! Others?! There someone else having a feeling to you?" He scream in tiny.

"Yeah, Wooyoung too. It's quite funny. I don't know why they need to like someone like me. Just— look at me by now I have nothing. I have a bad temper tantrum, stubborn, I talked harshly with people I'm not like other girls out there." I sighed under my breath and sniffing.

"There was nothing wrong with you, Sissy. They love you because you always being yourself. You're not hypocrite, yes I admit you're grumpy sometimes but there's nothing bad about that. I mean you have your soft side which was you wasn't realize that but I can see it, Sissy." He said and tugging my hair into my ear. I just smiling weak to him.

"Really? But still nothing change with me and him. He hate me, fucking hate me and that's make me hate myself much." I biting my lips trying to not crying again.

"No, he just upset that time. He didn't meant it. Whatever he told you, don't take it serious. I know him much. Don't say that you hate yourself. You deserve to be happy, don't give up please." He said as his hand grip my hands more tighter.

"I'm sorry, thanks for comfort me." I said as I come closer to him and give a hug.

"Don't mention it, I am your brother I always be. Just call me if you have anything to talking about okay?" He whispering on my side and rubbing my back.

"San....did he coming home last night?" I asked him after I pulling him away. I hope Seonghwa will said his was here. I really want to know what happened to him after last night.

"No, he didn't. Don't thinking about him he gonna be alright. Okay? Please put the smile on your face to me. I miss that one." He shaking his head and pinched my cheeks to make me smile.

So, I give him a big smile for short because I don't think I can smile after destroyed someone heart.

I'm cruel.

"So, get up. Go to shower and we can have a breakfast together. You look more awful after get bawling to much. So not my sister. I didn't have an ugly sister like you." He said while ruffles my hair into mess even it's already mess.

"Oppa! How could you—." I screaming little when I looking at him grinning widely.

He giggling loud when he was about to going out from my room. I laughing weak at least I know there was someone who always support me. I really don't deserve them.

___

After I got shower I going to my luggage and start to pack my thing. I'm going home tomorrow but yeah I need to pack right now because I bring like the whole house at here. That's the earlier tickets we have. I'm okay with that at least I can settled something before going back.

I looking around my room it's only an important things left like my accessories, my laptop, my make up and other privacy stuff. I wearing a half tank top shirt it's revealed my tummy but not to exposed and a short short. I brushed my hair with my comb and after I satisfied I going out to have a breakfast.

Before I going downstairs I bumped with Wooyoung. He staring at me like he want to said something but nothing out from his mouth. I smiling weak him. He smiling back to me.

Awkward? Yes.

"Hey Woo, em are you busy today?" I nervously asked him while clasped my both hand together.

"Not really, why?" He answer me while looking at me with his sad eyes. Geez, am I that pity?

"Em well, I know that you know what happened between me and San, aren't you?" I asked him again.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for you and San." He chuckles a bit. Well, he sounded so awkward and guilty. I don't know why he need to acted like that.

"No, it's okay. Uh—em...actually I wanted to asked you for a dated. Yeah, it's weird now but I already promise you before to having a date with you. So, you wanna have a date with me?" I raising my eyebrows and biting my lips nervous.

"I-i don't know because you know— the date was for us to know that we can being together or something else. So, i—." He shaking his head confusion. Yeah, right how can I am going dated with him after all the house know about me and San? But I won't give up.

"Wooyoung, please. Just for a one day. Can you?" I actually forced him to go with me. I need to said something to him or else I will live with a full of guilty the rest of my life.

"Okay, fine sweetie. I'll go with you." He take a deep breath and sighed with heavily breath. I know it's hard for him to. I can feel his broken heart to and same as me. I don't want to make everyone feel uneasy before I'm going home. Eventhough, I already make chaos here.

"Too weird right? A girl eagerly asked a boy for a dated." I chuckles as I tapping his shoulder.

"No, it's not weird if you're that girl. You're a tough one and the one who will doing what you want. I'm okay with that sweetie. That's why I like you." He said while smiling wide to me. I just nodded agree.

Wooyoung and I going downstairs together to having a breakfast. Everyone already gathered in dining room except San. He still not here after he gone last night. It's upset me.

Where was he go, I'm worried about him.