𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐒 | Jake Peralta

three.

T H R 3 E

"ugly emotion part one"

—

Jake's POV

IT FELT LIKE IT HAD ALL BEEN A DREAM. A good one, though. Jake grumbled as he got up off the couch, scratching his back. He had fallen asleep in the clothes of the previous day, and he knew that that day he would go to work wearing that same shirt and jacket. It wasn't like he attached much importance to it, nevertheless.

He yawned and stretched his limbs, hearing weak and slow footsteps behind him. Jake turned his head to see Sarah, her brown short hair was a mess and her eyes were red. He imagined he must look the same, if not worse. Sarah massaged her temples, not caring about opening her eyes completely.

"Morning," she rasped, clearing her throat. She winced. "Oh god, my head hurts like hell."

"My everything hurts like hell," Jake replicated with a smile, but Sarah did not smile back, and sat next to him on the couch. He frowned. "What's wrong?"

Sarah sighed. Jake perfectly knew what everyone of her gestures meant, he'd been her best friend for over a year. And, judging by her face, he was almost sure that she wanted to burst out something secret, or something she was ashamed of.

"Well, I..." Sarah started, she wasn't facing Jake. "Remember when I told you yesterday about how I was only dating Lewis to impress my parents?"

Jake nodded. "Yes, that's crazy." His ears pleased when he heard her laugh. "What about it?"

"I wasn't lying, of course," said Sarah, still with her eyes fixed on the wooden floor. "But I don't know, I kind of miss being with him. At least I didn't feel alone that way."

Her words caused a thousand feeling on Jake, feelings that he didn't know could go mixed. It hurt him to know she was lonely, but it bothered him too. Partly because he was with her always, trying to make her laugh, but partly because he knew it wasn't Sarah's fault. It was his. He had been so focused on his breakup with Sophia that he had completely left Sarah out, had sometimes asked her to leave him alone, or would have said she was not helpful. God, how silly he was. Why was he realizing until then?

"I'm so selfish..." he thought out loud, and Sarah shook her head.

"You're not!" her words surprised Jake. "You are the one helping me go through all of this. I should thank you."

He didn't know why, but the last sentence made him feel dirty. She didn't have to thank him, she was the one trying to make Jake feel better.

"I am," he replicated. "I've been depressed about Sophia but I didn't know I was hurting you. How stupid can I be?"

"Jacob, you're not stupid at all," Sarah suddenly faced him, looking a little mad. "I'm the selfish one! I couldn't feel dirtier. Doing everything to make my parents happy, I do whatever it takes. I hurt Lewis by dating him when I didn't even like him. And now I miss his company. There's something wrong with me."

Jake scowled. "There's nothing wrong with you. I understand you, okay? You got me and I got you."

Sarah laughed, rubbing her eyes and looking up at the ceiling. "I think we're both wrecks."

"Yes, but..." Jake stood up from the couch, smirking, "the best ones."

Sarah's POV

This time there was no one to scold them for listening to music in the car, so the two enjoyed a song as they headed to the precinct. Sarah was driving, trying not to be distracted by Jake's terrible singing, or to die from laughter at the high-pitched tones he suddenly let out.