Confessions of a Teenage Alcoholic

Chapter 5

A/N I am procrastinating so here is another chapter lmao.

I tried not to flush red at Jackson's strength as he nudged me away from him using just his fingers.

And then I could help it. My lips started to tug up into a smirk because he could have just moved away. There was plenty of room left next to him. There was no need for his hand to physically remove me from him. He didn't need to touch me.

But he did.

And although his message was clear; stay away.

I couldn't help the small smile that sat on my face . I could still feel the way his fingers felt digging into my skin and I sit back letting my back hit the cool booth.

Goodness me, I should be mad at him, for everything that happened.

But instead I'm smirking to myself because he touched me. 

He hasn't even looked at me, not since he sat down. But I still felt smug.

I need to calm down.

As always.

Gosh I wonder how many times I've actually told myself to calm down. For multiple reasons. The number must be in the thousands by now.

"Ives?" Jayden says and I look at him surprised. Everyone's eyes are waiting for me to answer and I again, have no idea what had just been said.

This is why we don't sit next to Jackson Ivy. Distraction city.

"Sorry, what?"

Jayden laughs and asks me if I wanted anything else from the counter. Apparently, he was going up and it was his treat.

"Oh, well if you're offering could you get me..." I pause and smile knowing exactly what I wanted but then I look over to Jackson's uncomfortable presence and I just sigh. 

I wanted cake but I wasn't a bitch.

I didn't know if he cared if I brought up a memory between us, but if he did, I didn't want to play any games. If he didn't care anymore, I didn't want to embarrass myself and show him that I still cared. That I remembered.

"Actually, I'm not hungry. Don't worry."

I was going to ask for the rose and rhubarb cake but I wasn't trying to get a rise out of Jackson. And I know it would have looked like that if that's what I asked for.

"Are you sure?" He says and I just nod my head. I am missing out on cake because I don't want to play any games with people. Can you imagine?

I think we just need to have a conversation. Clear the air. And then I can finally settle back home and not be worried that he will turn up and things will be awkward.

He's been quiet. Like way too quiet for even the Jackson I knew before I actually knew him. Like when I was with Jay, he may not have really spoken to me or the girls, but he still spoke to the boys. Not often and he most of the time sounded cold but he was still present.

He doesn't even seem present.

And I didn't want that to be because of me.

When Jay and Jackson get up to get a refill I can help but blurt out.

"Does he talk more when I'm not here?" I ask directly to Max. Cutting to the point and needing to know if he's usually this distant with everyone or if it's just me.

"No. Ivy, he's not much of a speaker." Max says and I cock my head at him. But the Jackson I know is very different from the Jackson they know and I suppose his silence is pretty normal.