Confessions of a Teenage Alcoholic

Chapter 32

Sexual scenes ahead- oops. Ivy and Jackson finally give in, do you think this will just complicate things further? cos i do hehe

"This is maddening Ivy, what are we going to do?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, my arms that were wrapped around his neck we stared at each other in the misfunctioning elevator, slowly moving to hold his chaotic face, his eyes bearing down into mine.

"Do we pull away? Is that even possible now? I can't stop thinking about you."

"I don't know either. I haven't felt like this before."

"Neither have I, but we can't. You said it yourself. I'm not stable, I can't be there for you, like this. And I'm going in September Ivy."

"You got in?" I exclaim and a small proud grin grows on my face as it tilts more towards him.

"Yes." He breathes and I move my thumb gently under his eye, the movement making his eyes close and his face tilt into my hands a little bit at the feeling of my fingers on his skin.

He was right, this was maddening.

I couldn't do this anymore.

"I think we just need to get it out of our systems." I whisper and his eyes flash to mine, the green trying to uncover the hidden meaning behind my words. Begging for me to continue.

"This lust, I've never felt anything like it. I can't think about anything else when I'm near you. I want nothing more than to be there for you, but I can't when I am constantly thinking about the way you make my body feel."

"Ives." He groans quietly "I can't think of anything else either, my brain is so stuck on the temptation of you that I don't even feel the alcohol cravings anymore. It's just you."

Jackson takes a step forwards, holding me as I swoon at his words. "But it won't work. Having this just once won't be enough for us. I've told myself that through everything. Just one hug, just one kiss, one touch and here we are." His words contradict his physical movement, he laces my body with his, his leg moving so it was almost between mine, his hands holding me to him.

"I just want you once Jackson. Then we can finally leave it. The clouds will clear and we will be able to think again. We can finally end this and it won't hurt to pull away. We can finally be just friends."

"Ivy." He whispers back at me, matching my tone. "This won't work, I don't think I can ever be just friends with you."

"Yes, we can Jackson."

"I can never be 'just friends' with you. We tried that once and I fell for you. We can't be just friends because I will always be able to taste your lips, feel your hands, your heart. We can't be just friends because your eyes remind me so much of the nights we feel asleep wrapped in each other's arms. Or maybe it's because when you smile it makes my body burn because I know that smile used to be because of me. I can't see that with my eyes and pretend its ok because it's not Ives. I can't be just friends with you because we both know it won't work."

His words are killer.

"Jackson. But that's what I'm saying, we could put an end to all that, tonight, just once." I whisper, I knew what he was saying, I knew I felt the exact same. That just once was probably, definitely not enough.

But ignoring it wasn't working either.

"No. Ivy. I'm putting my foot down." He grumbles and pulls himself away from me, to the other end of the elevator.

"Putting your foot down?" I repeat, my eyebrows raising in amusement at his dominating stance.

"Yes. We can't do this." His jaw is clenched and his face is now turned away from me, breathing out in relief when the elevator starts moving again.