The hope and The brave- Bethyl story

WHERE ARE YOU?

DARYL POV

I woke up sweating again. I can't think straight. I should have done something else. -Damn, Beth!- I mutter to myself and kick a fucking tree in front of me. I don't speak about her with anyone. Maggie asked me once but I felt so frustrated. Shit. They took her from my own arms. I feel like stupid kid in a way. I told her to run when I should have kept her close to me.
I woke up in the middle of the night almost everyday... If we get to sleep at all... Her smile haunts me and it's my fault. I won't stop until I find her. That I swear over my dead body, if that counts for something.

That night when she set me free, jeez. I felt so good, you know? Like a heavy weight was off my back. She made that happen. I keep saying to myself I run as much as I could... It scares me to think maybe I shouldn't have been so careless when I heard noises. I was fucking blinded by her green eyes. I keep forgetting I was not born for that kind of crap. Still she made me feel like a had a real shot, you know what I mean?

I have to do something or I will lose my fucking mind. I'm glad Carol's back. I think she knows more than she says. But that's the way I roll with her. We have each others back.
Sometimes seeing Maggie with Glenn makes me feel weird. That night before they took her away from me... I think I was ready to kiss her. The way she was staring at me, she made me feel like I was worth something. I always felt alone and suddenly this young woman dared me to feel more.
I remember what she told me. Shit. She believes in me even when I don't. She believes in me an I feel like crap because I let her down.

I rest my body against a tree not far from the others. But they can't see me from there. I don't believe in miracles but fuck! She was one to me. I will find her cause she deserves to know that. Beth deserves to know even though it freaks the hell out of me. I laugh at the thought. I don't even know what to say to her. I trust she will calm me down like she did before. It was easier when we were together. I mean it was real. She was real to me. And not knowing where the hell is she... That hurts more than I ever thought even when she told me that. She was right. That little woman with the brighter eyes I ever seen scares me more than a thousand fucking walkers. I would take that only just to bring Beth back to me. She deserves better. She makes me believe I deserve better too.
There's a walker in my way. I guess I can take some of my anger off by ripping it apart. But I cannot fool myself... I'm the one ripped apart and the funny part is the only person that would understand this... Is the one missing.