Waves, Sunsets, & Coffee

Chapter 10.1

I texted Ares if he could meet up with me at the beach later at seven at night.
I planned to talk to him, to explain everything I was feeling. Yes, I'm still confused, yet I wanted to clear things up with him. Now that I was able to talk to Liam, it's Ares' turn.
My friends kept on telling me that Ares really likes me. I didn't believe it really, it was hard to, but soon they were able to convince me.
Luckily, Ares agreed to meet up and so I took a quick shower and put on my joggers and a loose shirt.
I started walking to our meet up place since it was almost seven, and it takes around five minutes to get there on foot.
With every step I take, my heart starts to beat faster. I never really did like confrontations, but this I knew I had to do.
After that long and excruciating walk, I saw Ares and his car, as he was sitting on the sand.
I took one last deep breath, and walked towards him.
"Hey." I greet him and he faces me.
"Hey. How's your arm?" He asked.
"It's alright. Should heal in about a month. Well, that is until Alec slipped on it." I rolled my eyes at how Alec can be just as clumsy as me.
"That's gotta hurt. You good?" He asked and I nodded.
"So uhm, okay. I'll just get on with it and start at the beginning.
I grew up with only my father taking care of me. My mother... she... she's the reason why I have a hard time trusting people and letting them in.
At a young age, my mother abandoned us. She left me with my father without any explanation. Nothing. She just packed her bags and left.
But what hurts the most is that she told me she loves me. She promised that she'll never leave, and that she'll always be there.
Then she left. I was broken Ares, and I was just a child.
I was left confused, asking myself if I wasn't enough for her. If I did something wrong.
Everyday, after school, I'd always wait for her on our porch. I'd wait for hours for a white Honda Civic to pull up and for my mother to walk out and I'd run up and hug her.
For years, she never showed up. It would always be my father's car parking by the driveway.
I grew a hatred towards people. For having the guts to tell someone that they love them, only to leave at the end.
Who in the right mind does that? How can they live on with their lives, knowing that they just destroyed a person. That's why I never let people in again.
Anyways, my father. He was all I could ask for. The father I deserve. He was the one who took me to adventures despite his tight schedule. He was the one to take me skiing. He was the first ever man that was able to make me feel me again.
But still, he'd work hours on hours just to provide me with a good life. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for him. Then everything has to come to an end right?" I say as I take a deep breath before continuing again.
"Alex, you don't have to tell me if—" He says.
"No, it's okay. I want to tell you. I want you to understand.
It was the summer of sophomore year. My father took a week off from the hospital and we went to a place just like this. We finally got the time to be ourselves and just spend the week together, with no school or work chasing us from behind.
I remember that night so clearly. We were being carefree and we let our problems melt, singing our song. Pretty sure you don't know this song but it's Bridge Over Troubled Water, the one sung by Simon and Garfunkel."
I finally let the tears thatI've been holding back fall to my cheeks, allowing myself to feel vulnerable in front of Ares.
"It was the perfect night. Then I woke up in the middle of the night to get water, when I saw my father lying on the floor. Unconscious.
Found out he has a stroke."
I pause for a while, remembering that night so well.
"I'm sorry to hear that." He says.
"It's alright. That's... that's not even the worst part...
The first man to ever love me, the first person to make me love myself...
God Ares, he also fucking left! He left me... left me alone just like my mother.
After bringing him to the hospital, I had to go to school the following day, to excuse myself since I had to take care of my father right. I went back, only for the staff to tell me he was discharged!
I texted and called him. I went back to our house, waited and waited for him.
He never came. Just like my mother.
Saw a bunch of papers on the table. It was a bunch of documents. Documents of my aunt adopting me.
I found out that they arranged and signed that years ago!
They fucking hid it from me."
My heart clenches from the pain, remembering the things my family has done. The things they made me go through... alone.
"Anyways, that's when I started doing reckless shit. I didn't sleep, I'd eat less, and drink more. I was destroying myself. Then that's when Liam came in.
While the others were there for me, Liam was the one who stuck by my side and helped me out of my reckless behaviour. Then I started liking him.
We uh... we fooled around for a while. We kept it from our friends. Heh, I thought I loved him... but looking back at it now it was just infatuation. I was stupid enough to think it was love and that he liked me back, but I soon found out that it was all just a play from him. I was just there for him to play with.
Then I shut myself from the world once more. I kept to myself. And soon, it was time for college.
I had to move to Australia with my cousin. I made up with Liam and made things right between us before flying out of the country.
Things were doing good for me. I left the past behind, started a new life. Got better grades, met new friends, joined clubs and all. Then I met Andrew towards the end of my first year there.
He was my first real love. For my side at least. Then just a few weeks ago, I found out he cheated on me. Saw him with another girl.
It's back to square one all over again. At least now that I'm kinda used to the pain already, I was able to accept it. Still hurt like hell though.
And that's the short story of my life and how I don't let people in easily." I say, finished with the oh so amazing story of my life. But I wasn't done talking.
"Those people are the very reason why I don't like opening up to others. Why my walls are fucking high. Because they keep leaving me without any explanation! They say they love me, but bullshit.
I'll just find out the next day that they're gone. And all the work I've done on rebuilding myself is gone. Start again from the start. Build your walls higher. Higher than before. I'd tell myself. Promising myself that enough is enough.
That's why I shut myself from the world."
I take a deep breath, letting go of all the negativities of the past, and focus on what I have right now.
I think of the amazing friends I have, the memories we have together. How they're the only people who I'm sure will never leave me. They've stayed by me ever since, and I'm holding on to them.
"Anyways, my point is, I'm willing to let you in. I like you Ares, and I'm willing to take the risk to be with you." I finally say, feeling a huge weight inside me finally come off.
I started to think that we got this the wrong way when Ares just stares at me and doesn't say anything for a moment.
"Ares?" He doesn't respond. He only sits there staring at me and I'm starting to question if what I did was wrong. Maybe he doesn't really like me, maybe he—
My thoughts got cut off as he smashed his lips in mine.
It was a rough, yet a kiss full of passion. I didn't even know I'm drowning in the waves and he was the one who saved me. I needed saving, and I was always scared to admit that, but now, now I know I needed him.
I didn't know it was possible, but I felt all his emotions. I felt free. And after the longest time, I finally felt alive.
I felt tears run down my cheek, because I've always shielded my heart away from the world, that I forgot what it felt like to love once more.
Ares pulls away, wiping my tears away from my face.
"I can never hurt you Alex. You've been through a lot, and yet, here you are. Finally showing yourself to me." He only made me cry more as I yearned for his touch. I craved for him, and so I placed my lips on him again.