Sanders Sides x Reader [ONESHOTS AND PREFERENCES]

Neglected || Janus x Depressed!Fem!Reader (1/2)

Requested by HamiltonIZmyLIFE Sorry it took me so long, I had to catch up with school.

⚠️⚠️TW: DRUG OVERDOSE, MENTION OF CHILD NEGLECT⚠️⚠️

[(Y/N)'s POV, IN OCTOBER]

   Currently, I was hanging out at the Sanders household. We were watching whatever was on Disney+ as suggested by Roman, obviously. I say watching but not everyone was paying full attention like Virgil, Janus, and myself. Virgil was just scrolling through his multiple social medias, I was lost in my own thoughts, and Janus was staring at me with concern.

I must've zoned out for a while as Patton, who was on my right, put an arm around my shoulder and pointed at the screen, "watch this part!" He didn't remove his arm until the scene was over. "Crazy, right?!" He looked at me briefly, adrenaline running through his veins from whatever we were watching.

"Yeah, sure," I chuckled half-heartedly. He leaned forward, practically getting sucked in to the movie. The lack of touch made me shiver, but I'm used to it by now. That much used to it that I pretty much felt numb.

Janus continued his staring at me though I didn't know he was concerned for me all that much. He's all for self care, but I assumed he had zoned out too and just happened to be looking in my direction.

[TIMESKIP]

   I was in bed, staring up at the ceiling I had been for a while now: I was trying to replicate any form of human contact that I missed during the first eighteen years of my life. I can't remember the last time my own parents hugged me, they never wanted anything to do with me until they needed something or I was in trouble.

My limbs felt numb after tossing and turning for hours. The pain most likely made me fall asleep... until I saw an ominous shadow in the doorway, I opened my eyes fully to see it was Janus. The light from the window highlighted his scaly half.

"(Y/N), are you ok?" He began, "and don't even try to lie to me because you know that I can tell. Plus earlier you looked more dead inside than Logan or Virgil." He was leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed, but then closed the door behind him and sat next to me on the bed.

"I would say I'm fine but, like you said, that's obviously not true." I scoffed dryly.

"Oh, totally not obvious at all."

"Hey!" I pushed him as best as I could while laying down in bed, covered in blankets and pillows. "Seriously though, I'm fine." He gave me a blank stare that saw through my bluff. He's better than I thought...

"Alright, jeez!" He swung his legs up on the bed and crossed them so his attention was fully on me. "It's just that... for as long as I could remember, my parents ignored me. Even now or when I go home for the holidays, or even when I'm just in town. When I was living on my own, I didn't see any difference. Then when I met Thomas, I dunno... all the attention and checking up on me felt new, I guess. It was the first time anyone genuinely cared, and then to find out all the different facets of his personality cared about me too? You can imagine I had no idea what to do-" I stopped. My throat felt like it was closing up and I felt my face getting warmer and warmer.

Without question or hesitation, Janus wrapped me in his arms. He slowly leaned backwards so we could lay down, "so you're touch starved? I should've seen it sooner...and I'm guessing you feel like you're being too clingy if you open up?" He stated, only in whisper. I nodded, not wanting to say anything. "You're not clingy, you're just asking for a little attention. It's not like you're one of those stupid girls in middle school who would pretend to have a mental illness to seem edgier and 'quirkier' that everyone else." He ran his hands through my hair as I focused on matching my breathing pattern with his.

"Please don't tell anyone," I looked up, my face half-hidden in the crook of his neck. He fondly looked back at me, giving me another look. We might as well be telepathic at this point, he can just give me a look and I know what he's thinking. "Please, JJ."

"Alright, fine but only if-" He was interrupted by a squeal

"AWW! You two are so cute together!" We heard after the door suddenly opened. Patton, obviously.

"What time is it, Pat?" Janus asked.

"Like...10AM? I think?" "It is!" Shouted a different, more monotonous voice. Logan.

Patton closed the door over and we looked out the window. The sun was definitely up. Well great.

"Get some sleep. You need it." Janus lightly kissed my forehead.

"I'll try."

[NARRATOR POV]

   Over the course of the following week, (Y/N) slipped into a more depressive state. Janus took notice of this and tried to tell the others. This, however, led to the more stubborn sides not believing him as they still had trust issues...or they just don't want to believe someone they don't like (cough cough Roman and Virgil).

As the month was coming to a close, the group was planning to dress up for Halloween and hang out. On the other hand, (Y/N) was having something a bit more than a breakdown in her bathroom. She hadn't bothered to dress up, instead she was doing something much more terrifying: overdosing. More specifically, overdosing on antidepressants.

The emotionally drained girl downed the bottle at once, without thinking. If she had stalled any longer, she wouldn't have went through with it. At first, a wave of nausea hit her to then become quite dizzy. She fell backwards and hit her head on the edge of the sink. She now laid unconscious on tbe  the bathroom floor.

There was one thing she forgot: Janus was coming to pick her up to bring her back to Thomas' house.

WC: 1046

I really had to cut this up because of how long it was.