Your poisonous words swarm like flies inside my mind.
They cloud my vision and pollute the air that I breathe
Until I can breathe no longer, until I am on the floor,
Suffocating, chocking, dying, wishing for the flies to fly away.
Their tiny legs crawl all over my skin and inside my brain.
I feel dirty, letting their filthy, wiry selves roam my body.
Their wings flap and thrash and beat inside my ears,
Until the only thing that I can hear is the pounding of the wings
Inside my head: 'you will never be good enough,' flap.
'No one really likes you,' patter. 'No one would miss you,'
'No one would care if you died,' 'No one wants you to live,'
Flutter. Flap. Thud. Patter. Flap. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.
They never stop. They never rest. They never sleep.
They are always there: in my ears, on my skin, in the air, in my mind.
Everywhere. They never rest. They like to watch me, keep me awake.
They like to make me squeal and itch as they dig at my skin.
They dig and scratch at my skin with their thin, stick-like, hairy, wiry legs
That feel like very thin pieces of coarse rope grinding against me,
Unnerving me, slowly scraping pieces off me until there is nothing left.
Nothing left except the flies, the hurtful words that become my identity.
I lose who I am, and the flies take over and the words are all you see.
'Worthless,' scratch. 'Ignorant,' scrape. 'Failure,' scratch scratch scrape scratch.
Until there is nothing left of me except your hurtful words and I forget.
I forget my name a little more with each scratch and then l I am on the floor,
Dissolving, suffocating, breaking, retching, hurting, shattering, dying.
I am dying- I am choking on the flies of your poisonous words.
